Conquering My Wine Habit: A Journey to Moderation

What if reducing wine consumption is less about restriction and more about achieving tranquility? Nan’s journey starts with a thought-provoking question: is there a gentler way to change? After a lifetime of “normal” evening wine—whether at work events, to relax, or to fit in—she discovered a more compassionate method, one grounded in curiosity and support. For research-backed insights, refer to the NIAAA’s recommendations on alcohol limits and the NHS’s practical advice on cutting down. This is how moderating her wine intake opened the door to mindfulness, improved sleep, and a renewed sense of happiness she believed she’d lost.

From Childhood Trauma to Teenage Drinking

My journey with alcohol commenced at the tender age of twelve, though it was never my choice. When my parents became immersed in what I now see as a blend of cult and religious group, children were viewed as mere distractions from their mission. Consequently, I was sent away to live elsewhere, moving every few months and witnessing the heavy drinking of the adults in the community.

At such a formative age, I began consuming alcohol to demonstrate my maturity to those around me. Reflecting back, I realize how this early exposure to alcohol intertwined with notions of adulthood and belonging, setting the stage for a complicated relationship with drinking that spanned decades. The frequent relocations, distance from my parents, and the normalization of excessive drinking created a perfect storm where alcohol became my primary means of asserting belonging and handling instability.

As I transitioned into my late teens, alcohol changed from a symbol of maturity to a method of escaping my growing depression. I bought half-gallon bottles of Scotch to keep by my bed, using it to numb the emotional pain from my circumstances. Drinking stopped being about fitting in—it transformed into my main strategy for coping with life’s difficulties.

Breaking Free and the Return to Wine

In my early twenties, I finally liberated myself from that organization and felt optimistic about crafting a new life. Interestingly, when I quit smoking in my late twenties, I also stopped drinking since alcohol triggered my cravings for cigarettes. I actually spent several years without alcohol, proving to myself that I could live without it.

However, as my professional life progressed, attending work dinners became commonplace. Drinking wine felt like the expected norm in these environments. Gradually, I began consuming wine, leading to a daily ritual that lasted for decades. It began casually—one glass, possibly two every evening. It seemed sophisticated, social, and completely acceptable.

The gradual nature of wine dependency is deceptive. Over many years, I realized that my intake had quietly escalated without me noticing. My nightly routine became predictably harmful: two, three, or sometimes more glasses of wine each evening, followed by disrupted sleep and bouts of waking during the night for an hour or more, leaving me with dreadful morning headaches.

The Justification Cycle

What kept me bound to this cycle for so long was my constant rationalization. I convinced myself that since everyone drank and I was still functioning during the day, it couldn’t be an issue. I was a professional woman managing my obligations, so how could it be problematic? This mindset is perilous—many wine drinkers find themselves in this space, functioning well enough to evade scrutiny while silently deteriorating on the inside.

Joining Weight Watchers and needing to limit my intake for counting points didn’t seem like a genuine drinking problem. I felt I could control it when necessary, which only solidified my belief that all was well. Yet, the deeper issue persisted: I remained reliant on wine to relax, socialize, and navigate daily stressors.

The pandemic changed everything for the worse. Like countless others, my wine consumption surged significantly during those months of isolation. By December 2020, I recognized I needed to cut back, but that realization felt more overwhelming than empowering.

The Failed Attempts at Control

As the new year 2021 began, I vowed to limit my wine consumption to just one glass each evening. While it was hard to stick to this commitment, I managed to adhere to it for several months. During that time, I felt significantly better and started shedding some of the excess weight I had gained. The positive changes were evident and motivating.

But as restrictions eased and I resumed dining out and socializing, the pattern of two, three, or more drinks each evening returned with a vengeance. Hangovers and headaches re-entered my life frequently, and I felt caught in a continuous loop of good intentions followed by unavoidable setbacks.

My strategy for controlling my drinking was always the same: willpower and determination. Although I could be successful for short periods, I always reverted to overindulging. This cycle was draining and disheartening, making me feel as if I lacked the strength or character to manage something that seemed so straightforward.

The Turning Point: Supporting a Friend

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A surprising revelation came from friendship and accountability. A friend of mine stumbled upon Annie Grace’s book “The Alcohol Experiment” and reached out to see if I’d be her support during a thirty-day alcohol-free challenge. Without hesitation, I agreed and quickly got my hands on the book.

The following day, I began reading, and things changed rapidly. I understood that to truly assist my friend, I needed to also commit to thirty days without alcohol. The idea was daunting—thirty full days without my evening wine ritual felt impossible. However, since I had made a promise, I decided to join her in abstaining from alcohol while we read together.

This choice to support my friend sparked my own transformation. Sometimes, we find the strength to help ourselves by helping others first, which is precisely what happened to me.

Transformation Through The Alcohol Experiment

As I wrapped up “The Alcohol Experiment,” I genuinely felt wonderful for the first time in years. Just experiencing improved sleep was life-changing—no more waking up at 3 AM and no more sluggish, headache-filled mornings. Beyond the physical benefits, I began to grasp the impact of alcohol, its addictive qualities, and how heavily embedded it is in our culture.

In the following months, I continued to explore my relationship with alcohol and how it influenced my life. This journey was not about sheer willpower anymore; it became about gaining insight and awareness. Four months after finishing the initial experiment, I felt prepared for deeper work and enrolled in The PATH program.

The transition from trying to control my drinking through sheer force to understanding it via education was transformative. Instead of battling against myself, I finally started working alongside myself towards true freedom.

Life in Full Color: The Joy of Freedom

It’s hard to articulate just how much better I feel now, nearly a year alcohol-free. Looking back, it genuinely feels like a fog that had clouded my mind for decades has finally lifted. It’s challenging to convey to someone who hasn’t gone through it how much clearer and more present I am today.

The extraordinary part is that the benefits keep coming. I’m more vibrant, more joyful, and honestly, proud of what I’ve achieved. The daily wine routine that once felt essential now strikes me as a cage I didn’t even know I was in.

Alongside my journey with alcohol, I’ve embraced a spiritual path aimed at learning, practicing, and discovering ways to remain present while eliminating barriers to inner peace. I can now see how crucial it was to remove alcohol to further this deeper work. There had been a significant disconnect between striving for mindfulness and drinking heavily every night—I was unknowingly working against myself.

A Message of Hope

If I could give my past self one piece of advice, it would be this: “It’s going to be okay. When you’re ready to let go of alcohol, you’ll find a way.” The journey doesn’t need to be flawless or require superhuman strength—it’s about curiosity, support, and the right resources.

The tranquility I’ve gained by moderating my wine consumption and eventually choosing freedom has paved the way for spiritual enlightenment and self-discovery I never thought was possible. The fog has lifted, the headaches have vanished, and in their place is a clarity and joy that feels like returning home to myself.

Ready to Explore Your Own Relationship with Alcohol?

If Nan’s experience resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. Thousands have discovered freedom and clarity through This Naked Mind’s holistic approach to transforming their relationship with alcohol. The PATH offers the same evidence-based strategies that enabled Nan to shift from daily wine consumption to a vibrant, alcohol-free life.

Learn how understanding, rather than willpower, can be the key to lasting change. Explore The PATH and take your first step toward your transformation today.

Share Your Story

Did you discover how to limit your wine consumption through our books, app, podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind? We invite you to share your story here to inspire others on their paths!

Copyright © 2025 This Naked Mind. This material is original content and is protected by international copyright laws. Unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this content will be met with legal action.

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