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#To all the single and married men:
In this region, when a marriage thrives, society tends to commend and celebrate the husband exclusively. Conversely, if there is a failure in the marriage, the wife gets all the blame and disgrace. This is not fair. What if the man was actually the reason for the issues or the divorce?
It’s time for a change in perspective. Credit and criticism should be given based on actions, not gender. In many parts of Africa, the husband is often seen as always being right, while the wife is frequently regarded as wrong. Hmmmm!
This concept needs to shift. Both partners should be held accountable equally. Blame those who deserve it and commend those who deserve praise. This aligns with biblical principles of justice and fairness.
It’s widely known that marriages can have conflicts. These disputes may be rooted in spiritual, financial, sexual, material, familial, or behavioral issues. The real concern isn’t whether conflicts exist, but rather how they are addressed. Ideally, both partners would work towards resolving their differences. However, this doesn’t always happen. So, what should be done in those situations?
As the family leader, I suggest that men should take the lead in resolving conflicts, even if they believe they’re correct. Nothing disrupts a marriage more than both spouses attempting to prove their innocence in a disagreement. Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right. Keep that in mind.
As husbands, our role in the family calls for a higher standard of behavior. Being a true head requires love, understanding, patience, tolerance, and a willingness to forgive and overlook faults. If a man is always trying to assert his point in every disagreement, he won’t fulfill the true leadership role he should embody. A head is a LEADER, not a LORD.
Winning in marriage isn’t about defeating your spouse in arguments. Sometimes, it’s about embracing humility and letting go of trivial matters. While it’s essential for both spouses to overlook flaws, the husband should do this more frequently, given his leadership role.
Unfortunately, many men are raised to be authority figures rather than true leaders. They are taught to be bosses instead of friends, commanders instead of partners. This can lead to situations where the husband hardens his heart to the point that the wife needs to call upon elders to mediate. That’s not what a leader does; that’s what a lord does. Do you need to report your wife to your family or hers? Can’t you handle matters yourselves? I’m not saying there shouldn’t be escalation when necessary, but I’m referring to minor issues. Handle them directly. Period!
Many marriages would have been salvaged if husbands had acted like genuine leaders instead of lords.
Dear husbands, it’s fine to be firm as the leader of your marriage, but don’t go overboard. An extreme leadership style can drain a marriage of its joy, fun, and satisfaction. Marriage isn’t a prison because your wife isn’t a captive. It’s about having fun and being each other’s closest friends.
Today, I urge all husbands to embrace being leaders instead of lords in their marriages. In my marriage, I strive to be a leader, not a lord. Thank you for reading, commenting, liking, and sharing.