Last spring, I struggled to finish my most recent book, Happy Relationships: 25 Buddhist Practices to Transform Your Connection with Your Partner, Family, and Friends. I missed two deadlines and spent many anxious nights lying awake, worried I might not finish the book at all—or that I would ruin it completely. Even though I was working hard, I constantly felt I wasn’t writing fast enough or well enough. I doubted my talent, questioned my worth, and procrastinated, all while criticizing myself harshly.
In the past, I’d pushed myself through projects using force, pressure and fear. But this time, that approach wasn’t working. I knew I needed something different to genuinely be productive—something kinder and softer. So I turned to the tools and teachings of my Buddhist training: mindfulness, lovingkindness, and wisdom. As I began practicing them, my relationship to my work quickly shifted, and I felt less overwhelmed and more at ease, and it became easier and felt more natural to write. In a few weeks, I finally finished my book.
Mindful Care Makes It Easier to Be Productive
You can use these same practices to support your own work. They’re simple and accessible, and all they require is that you bring gentle attention to your body, mind, and heart. You don’t need to use every tool or follow them in a specific order. Just start with Mindful Listening, and then turn to the others as needed. The more you use them, the easier they become—and the more they can help steady, encourage, and support you and your work.
Start with Mindful Listening
When you feel overwhelmed or stuck, pause. Sit quietly and listen inwardly. Notice your body. Observe your thoughts. Acknowledge your emotions without trying to fix or judge them. You might realize that your procrastination isn’t due to laziness, but to something deeper—perhaps fear or a sense of being overwhelmed. Underneath your procrastination is often a tender part of you that needs care, not pressure.
This practice of listening is the foundation of wise action. It helps you respond with understanding instead of reactivity. It reminds you that you can begin again, not by changing yourself, but by meeting yourself with compassion.
Reconnect with Joyful Effort
One of the most useful qualities you can cultivate is what Buddhists call “virya”—a Sanskrit term translated as energy, diligence, or effort. “Virya” doesn’t mean pushing or grinding – rather it refers to our wholehearted, joyful energy that we can direct toward what is beneficial, useful, and good.
If you’ve been treating your work like a burden or obligation, pause and reconnect with your original intention. Your work—whatever it is—can be a meaningful offering, an expression of your values. When you remember why it matters, you can let it guide you, and use virya instead of force to create the words, the progress, or the result. You’ll be surprised at the power of gentleness and sincerity to drive your process instead.
If you’ve been treating your work like a burden or obligation, pause and reconnect with your original intention.
Build Confidence Through Wisdom
Buddhism understands that it’s wise to understand the result of past actions, so recall other difficult tasks or projects that you’ve completed. Remember that you’ve met deadlines, kept commitments, and followed through even when it was hard. Buddhist wisdom teaches that confidence doesn’t come from perfection—it comes from recognizing and respecting your own experience. Keeping this in mind helps you know that you’ll complete this, too—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re reliable, trustworthy, and consistent.
Cultivate Gratitude
Throughout your work day, practice gratitude—not just for your own effort, but for the countless visible and invisible beings that make your life and work possible. Thank yourself for showing up. Remember your friends, mentors, loved ones, and even the workers who make sure you have electricity, water, food, and shelter. This sense of interconnection can help ground you in appreciation. It reminds you that you’re not alone—and that your work can benefit others, too.
Work in Small, Steady Steps
Rather than aiming for long hours or big breakthroughs, create a steady, manageable routine. If possible, try working for an hour or two each morning and then take a break. Let go of the need to hit a word count or finish a full chapter. Just begin.
When worry arises, meet it with mindful attention. Don’t try to silence it or push it away, but don’t follow it into catastrophic thinking, either. Let the thoughts come and go. Remind yourself that fear doesn’t need to be conquered—it needs to be met with patience, kindness, and presence.
Rest When You Need To
As deadlines approach, you might notice old habits returning—the urge to push harder, to avoid rest. When that happens, pause. Close your laptop, put your hand on your heart, and take a few slow breaths. You may notice a long-held belief that resting is dangerous or irresponsible. Notice your own stories around what it means to “be productive.” Gently acknowledge this, then place a hand on your heart and say to yourself, “I’m here for you.” Repeat this lovingkindness meditation to yourself for at least a few minutes. Offer yourself your whole-hearted presence, right here in the midst of your stress. You may find—like I did—that rest doesn’t slow you down at all. In fact, it usually restores your heart and mind and enables you to return to your work with better focus and more clarity.
Need Help Practicing? Try This Meditation.
Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and need a break, try this calming meditation. You might be surprised how just a simple pause can return you to yourself and help you be productive in a way that feels much more aligned and natural.