What would you do if you’d tried everything — and nothing worked? Tim had been through every form of traditional recovery. Multiple DUIs. Kicked out of his home. His kids and his ex-wife not wanting him around. He kept showing up to the programs everyone told him would help, and he kept losing ground anyway. Then something shifted. He found a different way of looking at alcohol, and for the first time in years, things started to make sense. How I reclaimed my life from alcohol is the story Tim tells now — not from a place of shame, but from 4.5 years of real, hard-won freedom. He’s engaged to a woman he loves. He’s a certified coach helping others find their own way out. And he’s finally, fully present for his life again.
Drinking Was Never Something I Questioned — Until I Couldn’t Stop
Growing up, alcohol was just there. My parents drank socially. My family and friends drank socially. Nobody talked about it like it was a problem because, for them, it wasn’t. I didn’t come into this world with some dramatic relationship with alcohol or some early trauma tied to it. It was just… normal.
But in high school and college, something shifted. Drinking became this thing I leaned on. It made me feel like I fit in when I didn’t feel comfortable. It was “cool.” It was social currency. I’m not sure I ever stopped to ask myself whether I actually liked how it made me feel — I was too busy using it as a way to navigate situations that felt hard.
It wasn’t until my early 50s that I had to face the truth. Alcohol had become an issue. Looking back, it was probably a problem earlier than that, but my early 50s were when I knew — really knew — I was in over my head. And by then, the consequences were impossible to ignore.
My family and friends saw what was happening and they tried to help me. They really did. But the only tools anyone knew were the traditional ones — IOP, outpatient programs, AA meetings. So that’s what I did. I showed up. I went through the motions. And in the middle of all of it, I still got multiple DUIs. I was kicked out of our home. My kids and my then-wife didn’t want me around. I can’t fully describe what that feels like — to know you’re doing damage to the people you love most and not be able to stop. It was its own kind of torture.
Something Finally Clicked — And It Started With No Shame
I’m not sure exactly how I found This Naked Mind. It may have shown up on my Facebook feed when I was searching for alternatives to traditional recovery. What I do know is that I was desperate for something different. What I was doing wasn’t working, and I needed to understand why.
I completed the Live Alcohol Experiment first. Then I read This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol. And almost immediately, something clicked.
The first thing that hit me was the absence of shame and guilt. In AA, I started every single meeting by saying I was a failure. I was powerless over alcohol. And while I was powerless at that time — that part was true — I knew deep down that powerlessness wasn’t who I was. In every other area of my life, I had agency. I had drive. And without a doubt, I had capability. Being told over and over that I was powerless didn’t help me get better. It just made me feel like less of a person.
This Naked Mind didn’t do that. The more I read and the more I listened, the more I started to feel the power I knew was in me start to come back. It wasn’t handed to me. I reclaimed it. And that’s honestly the best way I know to describe how I reclaimed my life from alcohol — it was about getting back something I already had inside me, but that years of drinking and shame had buried.
I wasn’t broken or a failure. Just someone who needed a different framework to understand what was happening — and once I had that, everything started to shift.
Ready to reclaim your life from alcohol? Start your own Alcohol Experiment today. It’s free with instant access!
Life Still Happens — But I Have the Tools to Handle It
I want to be honest with you: being alcohol-free doesn’t mean life stops being hard. Life still happens.
In these 4.5 years, my daughter got married. And because of the damage my drinking had done, I didn’t walk her down the aisle. I have to sit with that. That is a consequence I carry, and there’s no erasing it. I also received a cancer diagnosis somewhere along the way. Real, scary, life-changing stuff.
But not once during any of it did I reach for a drink. Not once. And if the thought ever flickered through my mind, I had tools to manage it. That is the difference — not that life got easier, but that I had something to work with when it got hard.
I am now engaged to a wonderful woman who has walked this road with me — with love and with tough love when I needed it. I graduated from This Naked Mind Institute in November 2024. And I’ve started my own coaching practice, Onward AF Coaching, because I want to help other people find the freedom I found.
This is how I reclaimed my life from alcohol — not perfectly, not without grief, but fully and truly. And I am so grateful.
What I Would Tell My Old Self — and What I Want You to Know
If I could go back and say one thing to the version of me that was lost in all of it, it would be this: You are the person you know. Don’t run away from life. Be present, be aware, and be curious. It will be difficult at times, but always have hope.
There’s a Latin phrase I love: Dum spiro spero. While I breathe, I hope. That’s what carried me. And I want it to carry you too.
I want my kids to see that the dad they knew is the dad they know now. More than anything, I want to help the people who can see and feel the pain their drinking is causing the ones they love most — who know they’re doing damage but haven’t been able to stop yet. That word matters: yet. Because there is a way through.
Freedom from alcohol is real. I’m living it. And it is a gift I want everyone who is struggling to have access to.
Ready to see what’s possible?
Download the first chapter of This Naked Mind for free — it’s where reclaiming your life begins.
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