Shelly Tygielski, an activist focused on meditation, presents three self-care practices to help us recharge, refresh, and prepare for action.
This article was first published in November 2018.
The day following the closely contested 2018 US midterm elections, marked by intense campaigning, narrow results, and some dreadful incidents, I reflected on a program I organized the prior October at the Women’s Convention in Detroit. It brought together thousands of passionate women ready to embark on a challenging journey ahead.
I titled my speech Self-Care Is an Act of Resistance: Shifting the Fight-or-Flight Response to Empathy-or-Action Response to convey an important message.
The central concept is that reacting by either “fighting” or “fleeing” isn’t sustainable. Moreover, these are responses we can transcend and evolve past. Although we often hear that our brains are inherently wired for fight-or-flight, science indicates that we continue to adapt. Our brains can be rewired.
How do we move beyond this primal response? By choosing to embrace two new responses: empathy and action. I firmly believe that this journey begins with self-care.
Embracing Empathy and Action
The morning after the elections, my inbox was flooded with over 100 messages reflecting a deep sense of despair. We had all invested much effort, yet challenges remained.
As I began to reply to these messages, I reminded everyone that they have the RIGHT to feel this way. It’s perfectly normal to cry, feel sadness, disappointment, and exhaustion. We should avoid piling on an extra layer of emotion—like guilt—by allowing ourselves to pause, reset, and breathe.
In these turbulent times of social, political, and environmental turmoil, it may seem wrong to take time to rest, seek joy, or embrace positivity. However, it’s essential to recognize the significance of self-care and to actively engage in it. Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a transformative act of love.
Indeed, there’s still substantial work to be done. Truly, a lot of it. But that doesn’t mean we have to tackle it today. We can choose to rest today, tomorrow, and the days that follow. We can prepare for the upcoming holidays and reflect on all that we are grateful for, both individually and as a community. Then, when ready, we can rally and help lift others up.
Self-care, in essence, is a movement.
It embodies love in the face of defeat, kindness amidst loss and victory alike. It’s about claiming our right to emotional well-being. Self-care is a form of resistance.
Three Ways to Practice Self-Care Today:
- Give yourself permission to unplug from news and social media for a few days. Disable alerts, turn off the TV, and avoid social media. If you need to check it for work, restrict your time and refrain from engaging or commenting. This break isn’t permanent—just a few days of tranquility away from the digital world.
- Be aware of when you need self-care and act on that need. Sometimes prioritizing self-care can affect those around you (e.g., taking a day off work or asking someone to look after the kids). Let those close to you know that you’re responding to a personal need without feeling the need to seek their approval.
- Keep a personalized self-care checklist ready with multiple options for you. This could include anything from scheduling a midday chat with a friend to enjoying a relaxing bubble bath. Having this list prepared is vital because when you’re on the brink of burnout, you might struggle to think of ways to care for yourself at that moment.