Fact: one of the tactics employed by those seeking to dominate us involves engaging in cruel psychological manipulation. They are so adept at these mind games that we may not even recognize we are being targeted. This raises the question, “Are there typical gaslighting methods?” Below are 11 examples.
You’ve never encountered someone so brazenly manipulative, leading you to believe their words must be true.
Maybe you’re aware of the 1944 Oscar-winning movie, Gaslight, which is based on Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play, Gas Light.
Gaslight
This film features Paula Alquist Anton (Ingrid Bergman) and Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer) as a married couple. Unbeknownst to her, Gregory is actually Sergis Bauer, the man responsible for her aunt’s death during a jewel heist.
He abandoned the stolen jewels when Paula walked in on him at the age of 14.
Gregory’s plan is to finish what he started, so he moves into the family home and insists that her aunt’s belongings be stored in the attic.
The psychological torment begins
Gregory’s objective is to get Paula declared mentally unstable to have her committed and gain control over her finances, allowing him to search for the hidden jewels without interference.
Gregory and Paula
Thus, Paula becomes the target of Gregory’s psychological torment. His strategies include isolating her, accusing her of making bad judgments, and creating a sense of paranoia with strange noises in the house.
Throughout this, he insists that everything is just a product of Paula’s imagination.
The origin of “gaslighting”
He manipulates the gaslights in their home, causing them to flicker and brighten. Of course, Paula believes this is occurring in her mind, not realizing that it is Gregory controlling the attic lights while he searches for the jewels.
Fortunately, with the help of a Scotland Yard investigator, Gregory’s sinister plot is revealed. In a powerful moment, Paula finds her confidence again and taunts Gregory as he is restrained in a chair before the authorities take him away.
This leads to the term “gaslighting.”
Dr. Stephanie Sarkis on gaslighting
Dr. Stephanie Sarkis is a specialist in gaslighting and has authored a book titled Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free. I’ll provide a link to her work at the end.
Gaslighting defined
Here’s how Dr. Sarkis defines gaslighting…
A method used by an individual or group to seize more control by making the victim question their reality.
She further explains that anyone can fall victim to gaslighting, as it’s a commonly used tactic among abusers, tyrants, narcissists, and cult leaders.
A public persona and a manipulative facade
This manipulation is performed slowly, leaving the victim unaware of the extent to which their mind has been controlled.
The gaslighter shows a friendly side to their victim while presenting a different image to others. This leads victims to think that they’ll be disbelieved if they seek help regarding their situation.
Victims are attacked at the core of their being – their identity and self-worth – leading them to doubt their own recollections and perceptions, often questioning their sanity.
11 common gaslighting techniques
From her book, Dr. Sarkis identifies 11 frequent gaslighting methods…
- Blatantly lying: They do this with sincerity to keep you off-balance.
- Denying they said something, even if you possess evidence: This is the start of making you doubt your reality and accept theirs.
- Using what matters to you as weaponry: They often attack your children and your sense of identity first.
- Wearing you down gradually: Small lies and derogatory comments add up over time, wearing you down.
- Inconsistency between words and actions: Pay more attention to what they do than what they say; actions reveal the truth.
- Confusing you with intermittent praise: After disparaging you, they might occasionally commend you to keep you disoriented.
- Exploiting confusion to weaken: They disrupt stability to keep you in a constant state of questioning.
- Projecting their issues onto you: They accuse you of their behaviors, distracting you from their misdeeds.
- Trying to pit people against you: They will manipulate others to isolate you, often quoting negative comments about you from them.
- Labeling you or others as crazy: This dismissive tactic is extremely effective, as it reveals to others that they may not believe your accounts of their actions.
- Saying everyone else is dishonest: By doing this, they aim to provoke doubt in your mind, leading you to view them as your sole source of “truth.”
Such cruel mind games.
Learn, be aware, and survive
I sincerely hope you’re not experiencing this turmoil. If you are, it’s possible that you’re becoming aware and striving for your liberation. This piece may offer you motivation and support.
Or perhaps you were previously unaware of what was happening, and now you can connect the dots and start your journey to freedom.
Gaslighting: stay informed, remain vigilant, and find a way to escape.
If this resonated with you, you may also find this article useful: How to handle a narcissist.
I recommend exploring the work of Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, starting with her contributions to Psychology Today.
Also, make sure to browse through the emotional and mental health articles on Chipur for more valuable insights.
Film image: public domain
After a long struggle with panic, generalized anxiety, mood swings, and alcohol dependence, Bill eventually discovered his true calling – helping others in similar situations. At 49, he pursued grad school to earn his counseling credentials, continuing his support through Chipur and various projects.