This invitation encourages you to set aside thoughts and beliefs about differences, shame, fear, survival, and more. Instead, try to cultivate a felt sense of our shared humanity. Recognize that we all desire happiness and the relief from suffering; this is part of what unites us as humans.
A “Just Like Me” Practice to Broaden Your Compassion
This meditation draws from the work of Thupten Jinpa, particularly from his book A Fearless Heart: How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives.
- Start by getting comfortable in your body for a few moments. Focus inward and observe any sensations you may feel—such as the fabric of your clothing, the pressure from the surface you’re resting on, or feelings of temperature, tension, relaxation, or discomfort. Notice how you feel right now, including the movement of your breath, which continues unbidden.
- Picture someone special to you, perhaps a family member like a child or grandparent, or even a beloved pet. Instead of just thinking about them, try to truly feel their presence and the joy they bring you.
- Acknowledge the positive feelings that come up as you hold this cherished person in your thoughts, and recognize that they have the same desire for real happiness that you do.
- Next, think of someone you recognize, but who isn’t close to you. This could be a familiar face from the street or a barista at your favorite coffee shop. Notice the feelings that arise as you picture this individual and how they differ from the feelings you had concerning your loved one.
- Try to envision what it’s like to be this person. It’s common to overlook the well-being of those we only occasionally see. Imagine their life, their hopes, and fears, which are as nuanced and challenging as your own. You might see the similarities in your shared humanity: “Just like me, they wish to be happy and avoid suffering.”
- Now, think of someone you don’t know at all and who seems very different from you. This might be a person from a news story, a stranger you once saw, or someone grappling with hardship far from your own experiences. Consider individuals enduring conflict or standing against oppression worldwide.
- Take time to see beyond the differences and recognize what you have in common. Imagine looking into their eyes or sitting beside them in quiet reflection, feeling some of their joy, pain, sorrow, and fear, simply because they are human, just like you.
- Try placing yourself in their situation, understanding that they are loved by someone—a parent, partner, child, or friend. Recognize that even those who seem distant share that basic desire for happiness. Spend 20 to 30 seconds staying with this realization, letting thoughts and feelings arise and pass without judging them.
- Lastly, envision all three individuals together in your mind. Reflect on the shared fundamental wish for happiness and freedom from suffering. In this regard, there’s no difference; they are all essentially the same. Attempt to connect with these three beings from that shared perspective, acknowledging their aspiration for happiness despite their imperfections.
- Now, include yourself in this awareness circle, reminding yourself:
These people have feelings and emotions, just like me.
They have experienced pain in various forms, just like me.
They have faced sadness, disappointment, anger, or worry, just like me.
These individuals have moments of feeling inadequate, just like me.
They seek connection, purpose, and belonging, just like me.
They wish to be happy and free from suffering, just like me.
They desire love, just like me. - As you recognize that the desire for happiness and relief from suffering is universal, silently repeat: “Just like me, all others aspire to happiness and seek to alleviate suffering.”
- Finally, take a moment to sit with any emotions or thoughts that come up through this exercise, allowing them to surface and fade away. Your only purpose here is to be aware of their presence.
Adapted from Self-Compassion for Dummies by Steven Hickman.