A great listener not only hears your words but also understands what you’re feeling. Do you possess these characteristics of a great listener?
When we are overly concerned with what we will say next, or how others perceive our previous statements, we tend to overlook the fact that developing the traits of a great listener is just as crucial in communications. This video from The London School of Life serves as a reminder that effective listening inspires with subtlety rather than relentless criticism.
Four Key Traits of a Great Listener
1) A great listener asks: “What’s on your mind?”
When faced with difficult choices, a great listener provides gentle encouragement to help us uncover our true concerns.
Recognizing what troubles us isn’t always straightforward—a soft and thoughtful nudge with the right questions can motivate us to reflect on our thoughts and gain clarity on what’s causing us distress.
2) Great listeners dig deeper than surface stories
Pinpointing the source of our emotions can be challenging; it’s much easier to express a mere opinion about something being delightful or awful, pleasant or irritating.
A great listener assists us in unpacking our feelings.
They aim to grasp the broader context by transforming your fragmented thoughts or grievances into coherent insights by linking them to your wider experiences, juxtaposing anecdotal comments with core issues.
3) A great listener recognizes our individual uniqueness
Great listeners create a space for us to be vulnerable—they don’t urge us to open up only to turn against us for our weaknesses.
Instead, their thoughtful and constructive responses can ease the tension during conversations. For instance, simple affirmations like “MMMMMM……” can express empathy without interrupting our flow.
Great listeners create a space for us to be vulnerable—they don’t urge us to open up only to turn against us for our weaknesses.
With an absence of judgment and criticism, we can express our feelings freely without fearing we’ll damage our dignity—or a friendship.
4) Great listeners distinguish between disagreement and criticism
A friend who embodies the qualities of a great listener cultivates a secure environment where you can be your authentic self. There’s no need to fear losing their friendship over disagreements—they clearly communicate that their acceptance is not contingent on achieving an unrealistic standard of perfection.