My Journey: Finding Freedom Beyond the Bottle

How do you end a decades-long friendship? This is the dilemma Laura faced as she reevaluated her connection to alcohol. Through marriage, divorce, career achievements, significant losses, and health issues, one constant in her life remained. Laura describes it like this: “Alcohol was my best friend” – ever-present for comfort, celebration, or simply as a coping mechanism. Her story reveals what happens when you start to question if your most trusted companion truly has your best interests at heart.

Foundations of Friendship: What I Learned

As a child, I quickly realized that alcohol was integral to how adults enjoyed themselves. While my brother and I played in the basement with other kids, our parents partied upstairs. I remember a Halloween when one of their friends frightened me by bursting into my room in costume. Looking back, I suspect he was only acting foolishly due to drinking, but the underlying message was clear: alcohol facilitated connections and fun.

This trend persisted through high school, where sports and weekend parties became my norm. College life mirrored this, especially after I transferred and changed my major. Despite these shifts, alcohol remained a consistent aspect of my life.

When I moved back in with my father post-college, someone I barely knew because of my parents’ divorce, we bonded over drinking. It served as a way to ease into our newfound relationship.

Strengthening Our Bond Amidst Life’s Trials

As I moved through the next 30+ years, experiencing marriage, divorce, raising four kids, and the heart-wrenching loss of my youngest at 22, along with serious health battles, alcohol was the one steady companion.

While married, I faced immense pressure as the main provider and mother. Drinking after work became my way to unwind, but it clouded my judgment. I noticed joy was becoming elusive. Although my husband remained my closest confidant, I started connecting more with a group of single women at work, who seemed to embody the fun I felt I’d lost.

This new circle provided a sense of belonging at work, which was fulfilling but also centered around after-hours drinking. This ultimately left me feeling more unfulfilled, even as my career blossomed, leading to poor choices that contributed to my divorce.

Considering a Shift in Your Relationship with Alcohol?

If you’re feeling like alcohol is your closest ally and are ready to explore a new pathway, consider joining Annie Grace’s free masterclass on How I Changed from Years of Daily Drinking to Happily and Effortlessly in Control… (WITHOUT Feeling Miserable or Deprived!). This class offers valuable insights to help take back control of your drinking and find your freedom. Start your journey toward a life you truly enjoy, free from alcohol’s grasp.

When My Closest Ally Turned into My Greatest Adversity

The stress of my divorce propelled me to use drinking as a means to cope with my pain and turmoil rather than for enjoyment. The pandemic only caused my drinking to escalate further. The heartbreaking loss of my son left me feeling like alcohol was my only escape from the grief. I wrestled with guilt, feeling I may have set a precedent for him by normalizing drinking in our lives.

The challenges continued when I and my eldest daughter underwent double mastectomies. Through every life event—good and bad—alcohol was ever-present. It felt like my most steadfast companion.

However, I eventually began to realize that this friend was no longer benefiting me as it once did. My health deteriorated, and I suspected alcohol was partly responsible. The joy I once felt faded away, and I began to dread things. I was constantly exhausted and had stopped exercising. What had supported me through tough times was now contributing to a dull and lackluster life.

The Catalyst for Change

After my son’s passing, a long-lost friend from middle school reached out, also re-evaluating her relationship with alcohol. This connection prompted me to reflect on my own drinking. We shared our experiences from afar, and she introduced me to Annie Grace’s teachings.

That’s when I began to experience a shift. With newfound knowledge about addiction and the effects of alcohol on my body and brain, I regularly tuned into Annie’s podcast, starting with the first episode of This Naked Mind. Now, I’m at episode 197—over 100 days of learning.

The insights into addiction and the biological effects of alcohol are eye-opening. I can’t ignore what I’ve learned now. The challenge lies in taking actionable steps to foster change.

Recognizing the Warning Signs I Ignored

Reflecting on my past, it’s clear I had numerous warning signs indicating a troubled relationship with alcohol. A DUI soon after college impacted my first job at a prestigious accounting firm. Alcohol also played a role in an unplanned pregnancy at 24, just three months after meeting the person who would eventually become my husband. Though we married 18 months later and welcomed four lovely children…
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From the beginning, the foundation was unstable.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed the effects of alcohol more clearly, mainly because my body doesn’t process it as well anymore—a point that Annie articulates well in her podcasts. I’ve attempted to manage my drinking by taking breaks for 9 days, 30 days, or occasionally, but I’ve never made a lasting commitment.

I’m completely transparent with my daughters and my partner about my struggle with alcohol, and they’re very understanding. Still, I’m on the lookout for that moment, signal, or motivation that will inspire me to make a lasting change.

Reevaluating a Long-Term Relationship

Through Annie’s insights, I’ve realized that what I once considered friendship was actually much more complicated. For many years, I thought alcohol was my best mate because it was always present whenever I needed comfort, celebration, or a coping mechanism. However, true friends don’t leave you feeling worse about yourself. They don’t promote harmful choices or health issues, nor do they complicate your quest for happiness.

The knowledge I’ve gained from This Naked Mind has been life-changing, even though I haven’t stopped drinking for good just yet. I’m continuously enriching my understanding because I am searching for control and freedom in my life and my drinking habits. Learning about the science of alcohol has shifted my perspective on this relationship entirely.

Aiming for a New Future

My life remains a work in progress, and I believe it always will be. My aim is to feel liberated and in command, and I’m not entirely sure if that relates solely to alcohol or extends to more areas of my life. But I’m on a path to explore this.

What excites—and honestly intimidates—me is uncovering what insights this journey might reveal about my reality. I’m learning that challenging long-standing beliefs about what’s beneficial demands bravery, but it’s also where true growth takes place.

If I could share a piece of advice with my younger self, it would be: “Keep fighting the good fight. Your intentions are genuine—kindness is the foundation of your actions. Goodness will prevail. Just be patient, and you will come to understand what is truly yours, whether that’s something new, different, or simply who you already are.”

Discovering True Support in the Journey

Recognizing that alcohol was not my best friend but instead finding real support has been life-altering. Authentic support comes from community, education, and resources that empower you to build the life you desire instead of merely surviving the one you have.

Through Annie’s teachings and connecting with others on similar paths, I’m understanding what true friendship and support look like. It’s not about having something readily available to numb difficulties—it’s about accessing resources that help you become stronger and more resilient.

My journey is still unfolding. I’m actively working on forming a healthier relationship with alcohol that aligns with my best interests. However, I no longer tread this path alone, nor do I depend on something that masquerades as a friend while actually hindering me from living the life I aspire to.

Transitioning from dependency to freedom isn’t straightforward, and it’s often uncomfortable. But it’s an authentic experience, guiding me toward a version of myself that I’m eager to meet.

Share Your Journey

Did you realize your connection with alcohol was unhealthy through our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind? We invite you to share your story here and inspire someone else on their path!

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