By Bisi Adewale
Understanding Commitment?
Commitment in marriage refers to the steadfast choice to stay loyal, dedicated, and true to your partner, no matter the changing circumstances. It’s not just about emotions or ease; it’s a deliberate commitment to love, support, and create a shared future.
Why is Commitment Important in Marriage?
A committed marriage ensures that both partners experience safety, security, and true appreciation for each other. Here are some key advantages of fostering commitment in marriage:
Emotional security: Commitment nurtures trust and reduces the fear of abandonment.
Deeper intimacy: Partners are more willing to share when they feel their relationship is solid.
Conflict resilience: Committed couples strive to resolve differences rather than give up.
Long-term contentment: Research consistently indicates that sustained commitment leads to enduring happiness.
Stable environment for children: Committed marriages offer emotional and mental stability to children.
Let’s delve into 21 transformative commitments that can elevate your marriage for the better.
1. I Choose to Prioritize God in Our Marriage
God should be the cornerstone of your relationship. Engage in prayer together, explore the scriptures, and seek His guidance. A marriage that reveres God will reap His peace, wisdom, and blessings.
2. I Choose to Love You Without Conditions
True love isn’t dictated by emotions, mistakes, or appearance. It’s a deliberate decision to love through imperfections, tough times, and changing circumstances. You choose to love your spouse, not because they are flawless, but because you’ve committed to them.
3. I Choose to Forgive Promptly and Completely
Holding onto grudges contaminates closeness. Learn to let go of pain quickly. Forgiveness doesn’t equate to excusing wrongdoing; it’s about selecting peace over bitterness and prioritizing your spouse over pride.
4. I Choose to Communicate Kindly and Respectfully
Even in disagreements, refrain from shouting, insults, or sarcasm. Communicate with honor, not just in good times but especially during conflicts. Words can either hurt or heal, so use them wisely.
5. I Choose to Spend Meaningful Time with You Every Day.
A few minutes of genuine connection surpasses hours of distraction. Put away devices, turn off the TV, maintain eye contact, and talk. Share laughter. Pray. Connect. Daily.
6. I Choose to Maintain the Spark of Romance
Marriage should be enjoyable and exciting. Surprise your spouse. Go on dates. Share love notes. Be playful. Intimacy isn’t confined to the bedroom; it’s a daily lifestyle filled with affection and admiration.
7. I Choose to Be Faithful Both Emotionally and Physically
Don’t share what belongs to your spouse—your attention, affection, or body—with anyone else. Guard your heart and theirs. Emotional infidelity can be just as harmful as physical infidelity.
8. I Choose to Communicate Openly and Honestly
Don’t assume your spouse can read your mind. Be transparent about your needs, emotions, and expectations. Avoid the silent treatment or passive-aggressive actions. Openness fosters understanding.
9. I Choose to Grow Together Spiritually, Emotionally, and Intellectually
Marriages falter when one person advances while the other stagnates. Read together, learn together, pray together. Evolve as better individuals together.
10. I Choose to Pray with and for You
Prayer acts as spiritual glue. Kneeling together enhances your relationship. Pray for your spouse’s health, dreams, fears, and daily struggles. This builds a connection that transcends words.
11. I Choose to Be Your Greatest Supporter
Celebrate your spouse’s achievements. When they succeed, you succeed. Inspire them, support their ambitions, and propel them forward. Be their biggest fan.
12. I Choose to Serve You with Pleasure
Love is about service. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, offering support or encouragement, do so joyfully. Seek ways to ease their burdens. A marriage thrives when both partners serve each other.
13. I Choose to Be Honest in Every Aspect
Even minor lies can damage trust. Be truthful about finances, relationships, feelings, and mistakes. Transparency encourages emotional safety, leading to intimacy.
14. I Choose to Safeguard Your Heart
Be aware of how your words, attitudes, and actions impact your partner. Don’t subject them to mockery, disrespect, or emotional turmoil. Your role is to protect, not harm their heart.
15. I Choose to Apologize When I Mistaken
Acknowledge your mistakes without excuses or finger-pointing. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” can mend wounds faster than prolonged silence. Humility triumphs over pride in marriage.
16. I Choose to Cultivate a Safe Emotional Space for You
Allow your spouse to express themselves freely without fear. They should feel comfortable to cry, confess, dream, or vent without judgment. Emotional safety strengthens connection.
17. I Choose to Prioritize Our Marriage Over Work and Others
Your marriage should take precedence over friends, extended family, church commitments, and work. If your partner feels secondary, they will emotionally withdraw.
18. I Choose to Create a Peaceful and Joyful Home
Make your home a sanctuary, not a battleground. Avoid shouting, nagging, tension, or criticism. Foster an environment filled with laughter, worship, peace, and relaxation.
19. I Choose to Manage Our Finances Transparently
Discuss income, expenses, debts, and savings openly. Financial secrecy is among the leading causes of divorce. Establish financial goals together and view money as a tool, not a weapon.
20. I Choose to Keep Learning About Marriage
Marriage is a skill that can be nurtured. Participate in workshops, read literature, watch educational materials. Invest in knowledge, and your relationship will evolve beautifully.
21. I Choose to Never Give Up on Us
Challenges, trials, and difficult periods will arise. However, never view divorce or separation as an option. Commitment means staying, battling, growing, and loving, come what may.
Final Thoughts
Marriage isn’t about two perfect individuals uniting, but about committed people growing alongside each other. These 21 commitments aren’t just rules; they are seeds to plant. As you consistently embody them, your marriage can transform into a sanctuary of love, peace, passion, and purpose.
Start now. Embrace these commitments. And watch as your marriage becomes what God intended it to be.