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Wisdom for Couples
Marriage is a wonderful blessing from God, yet it demands more than just love to remain strong. It calls for daily, practical wisdom. Unfortunately, many couples do not realize that their lack of wisdom is subtly undermining the foundation of their relationship. You might not be arguing overtly, yet the rifts are growing. You may appear happy in public, but there’s a growing distance at home.
If you genuinely want a joyful and enduring marriage, pay attention to these 10 subtle ways a lack of wisdom can harm your relationship.
1. Not Listening Deeply
Many couples engage in conversation, but few genuinely listen. When you tune out your partner, it implies their thoughts aren’t valued. Over time, this silence constructs barriers where love once flourished.
Wisdom tells us: “Be quick to hear, slow to speak.” Make it a priority to listen, not just with your ears but with your heart. Often, your spouse doesn’t need solutions; they just want to feel acknowledged and appreciated.
Example: Picture a wife sharing her work challenges, only to be interrupted by her husband offering solutions. As a result, she feels misunderstood and chooses silence in the future. Gradually, communication fades not through major arguments but through small, unwise actions.
2. Comparing Your Partner to Others
Comparison is a silent destroyer. Remarks like, “Look how Mr. A treats his wife” or “Notice how Mrs. B supports her husband” may seem innocuous, but they cause harm. No one thrives under relentless comparison.
Wisdom says: Honor your partner’s uniqueness. Stop measuring them against friends, neighbors, or social media figures. Behind every seemingly perfect online appearance lies an unseen imperfect reality.
3. Dismissing Emotional Needs
It’s unwise to think that meeting financial or physical needs suffices. Marriage is more than just paying bills or sharing a bed; it’s about emotional connection. When you disregard your partner’s emotional needs, they may feel alone even when married.
Wisdom says: Ask thoughtful questions like, “How are you truly feeling?” or “What’s on your mind today?” Let emotional engagement be a part of your daily life.
4. Showing Disrespect in Minor Ways
Disrespect isn’t only about shouting or insults. Sometimes it’s in rolling your eyes, dismissing ideas, or interrupting during discussions. These subtle acts of disrespect gradually erode intimacy.
Wisdom advises: Treat your spouse as you would treat an esteemed guest. Show kindness, and don’t forget to say “thank you,” “please,” and “sorry.” Respect is love in action.
5. Unchecked Anger
A harsh word uttered in a moment can take years to mend. Many relationships suffer not because of loving actions but due to hurtful words spoken in anger.
Wisdom says: Learn to pause before reacting. Walk away if necessary, pray when you can, breathe before responding. A wise couple knows that maintaining peace is more important than winning a confrontation.
6. Taking Each Other for Granted
Initially, couples are grateful for even the smallest acts, like “thank you for dinner” or “thanks for helping with the kids.” However, as years go by, familiarity breeds complacency, and gratitude fades.
Wisdom states: Always express appreciation. A thriving marriage flourishes where gratitude flows. No matter how trivial the task—washing dishes, changing a bulb, preparing a meal—express your thanks. Gratitude keeps love vibrant.
7. Overlooking Intimacy
Some couples mistakenly believe that intimacy requires no effort. However, the reality is that intimacy must be cultivated. When couples stop holding hands, sharing laughter, praying together, or even enjoying physical closeness, their relationship becomes routine and lifeless.
Wisdom encourages: Keep the flame alive. Continue dating your partner. Hold hands in public, whisper sweet nothings. Intimacy isn’t a luxury; it’s essential for your marriage.
8. Keeping Secrets
Secrecy can quietly erode trust. Hidden bank accounts, private conversations, or undisclosed expenses may appear innocuous initially but can lead to suspicion and distance over time.
Wisdom emphasizes: Openness fosters trust. Be transparent with your partner about your challenges, finances, and mistakes. It’s better that they hear the truth from you rather than uncover it elsewhere.
9. Neglecting Spiritual Growth Together
A couple that prays together remains stronger together. Many relationships falter not due to a lack of love but because they fail to include God in their daily lives.
Wisdom advises: Don’t just pray individually; pray as a couple too. Read Scripture together. Keeping God at the center allows wisdom to flow naturally.
10. Pride and Refusal to Say Sorry
Nothing destroys relationships faster than pride. A partnership in which no one says “I’m sorry” is likely to end up in silence.
Wisdom reassures: Apologizing doesn’t indicate weakness; it demonstrates wisdom. It’s not about who’s right; it’s about maintaining harmony in the relationship. A heartfelt apology can mend even the deepest wounds.
Final Thoughts from Pastor Bisi Adewale
Dear couples, marriage is far too valuable to be undermined by silent missteps. Wisdom is the glue that nurtures love. If you observe any of these hidden issues in your relationship, do not brush them aside. Make changes today.
Remember, love brings you together, but wisdom keeps you united. May your home be filled with peace, joy, and wisdom in Jesus’ name.
If this article has encouraged you, please share it with couples you care about. You might save a marriage that’s quietly seeking help.
Written by Pastor Bisi Adewale
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