What happens when you finally admit that alcohol has got to go—not because you’re failing, but because you’re ready to live fully aligned with who you really are? For Gavin, this realization wasn’t about rock bottom or dramatic consequences. It was about clarity. About seeing how alcohol had quietly shaped his childhood, his identity, and his choices—and then recognizing that letting it go was the gateway to a life defined by purpose, strength, and values instead of survival and self-sabotage.
Growing Up in the Shadow of Alcohol
Alcohol had a profound impact on my childhood and shaped the way I saw the world from a very young age. I grew up in a family and community where generational alcoholism was the norm. It wasn’t hidden or whispered about—it was just how things were. And from the outside, that kind of normalization can look harmless. From the inside, it’s anything but.
I watched alcohol tear relationships apart. It played a direct role in my parents’ divorce, which led to me bouncing between family members and never really feeling like I had a stable home. That instability wired me to constantly scan my environment. I became hyper-aware of other people’s emotions, always trying to read the room, anticipate reactions, and avoid conflict at all costs.
As a kid, I swore I’d never drink. I saw alcohol clearly for what it was: a destructive force. But at the same time, I was already experimenting with it at an early age, pulled by the same current I had promised myself I’d avoid. Somewhere along the way, I became a people-pleaser, convinced that if I could just be good enough, successful enough, impressive enough, I could control the chaos around me.
I overperformed in everything—school, sports, work—trying to prove my worth. Looking back now, I see how deeply that desire for control and stability shaped my identity. Breaking the cycle of generational alcoholism hasn’t just been part of my story—it’s been one of the most defining decisions of my life.
When Drinking Became My Identity
As I got older, my relationship with alcohol slowly shifted. What I once saw as destructive started to look…normal. Expected. Everywhere I went, alcohol was there. Social events, celebrations, weekends—it was all wrapped around drinking. And instead of resisting it, I started to believe I needed it.
I’m naturally introverted, and alcohol became my shortcut to social ease. It helped me come out of my shell, talk more freely, and feel like I belonged. Where I grew up in rural Missouri, drinking wasn’t just something you did—it was a test of manhood. How much you could drink mattered. And I didn’t just participate. I leaned all the way in.
I became the guy who brought the party. The instigator. The one making sure no one’s cup was ever empty. Alcohol stopped being something I did and became who I was. If there wasn’t alcohol involved, it wasn’t fun—or at least, that’s what I told myself.
What I didn’t realize at the time was how much power I was handing over. I let alcohol define my social life, my confidence, and my sense of belonging. And the fulfillment I thought it gave me? It was an illusion—one that kept me stuck far longer than I’d like to admit.
The Moment I Started Questioning Everything
Looking back, alcohol was always an issue for me, even when I didn’t label it that way. I wasn’t a daily drinker, but I was a weekly binge drinker. And when I drank, I drank. Blacking out wasn’t an accident—it was part of the routine. Where I was from, that was normal.
Things began to shift when I moved to Hawaii. Being surrounded by natural beauty had a way of holding up a mirror. I started noticing how my Sundays disappeared—spent in bed, hungover—while the world outside waited. Hiking, surfing, exploring…all of it passed me by while I recovered from nights I barely remembered.
Around that same time, I started going to church. Slowly, conviction set in. I wasn’t just wasting my weekends—I was wasting myself. I knew deep down I wasn’t living up to my potential, and the more honest I became with myself, the harder it was to justify my drinking.
That’s when the thought crystallized: alcohol has got to go. Not as a punishment. Not as deprivation. But because it no longer aligned with the man I wanted to become.
Discipline Everywhere—Except With Alcohol
What’s ironic is that I had incredible discipline in other areas of my life. I spent over a decade bodybuilding. My nutrition and training during the week were locked in. I knew how to commit. I knew how to follow through.
But when the weekend hit, everything unraveled. There was no moderation—only extremes. Strict discipline Monday through Friday, complete chaos on the weekends. I never tried to control my drinking because control wasn’t the goal. The goal was always to see how far I could push it.
The only times I stopped drinking were during weight cuts, and even then, it was temporary. Thirty days max. No deeper intention. No desire to change the relationship itself. As soon as the cut ended, the old patterns came roaring back.
I didn’t need more willpower. I needed a new perspective.
How This Naked Mind Changed Everything
In January 2023, my wife and I committed to the 75Hard program together. During that time, I kept seeing This Naked Mind mentioned in the program’s Facebook group. I wasn’t planning to quit drinking forever, but the subtitle grabbed me.
Once I started reading, I couldn’t stop. I finished it in a couple of days, highlighting almost every page. For the first time, I truly saw alcohol for what it was. The conditioning. The myths. The manipulation. It all clicked.
I couldn’t wait to talk through what I was learning with my wife during our nightly walks. The podcast deepened that transformation even more. Hearing other people’s stories affirmed that I wasn’t alone—and that this wasn’t about losing something. It was about gaining clarity, freedom, and alignment.
I’ve since bought over ten copies of the book for friends and family. Discovering the work of Annie Grace changed the trajectory of my life.Grace’s book, This Naked Mind. I had no idea that this recommendation would change everything.
Download Your Free Chapter of This Naked Mind
If you’re starting to feel that quiet nudge—the one that says alcohol might not be serving you anymore—you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Download the free first chapter of This Naked Mind and see alcohol through a completely new lens.
A Life Aligned With My Values
I haven’t had a drink in nearly 600 days, and I have zero intention of ever going back. Quitting alcohol feels like unlocking a superpower.
At 32, I’m the strongest and fittest I’ve ever been. I’ve dialed in my nutrition, taken up CrossFit, and feel physically capable in a way I never did before. My wife and I have purchased multiple rental properties, manage a midterm rental business together, and continue to build toward financial freedom.
But the biggest gift has been time. The hours I used to spend chasing alcohol, drinking, and recovering are now filled with purpose. We’ve launched nutrition consulting, hosted seminars, and are building a business that aligns with our passions and values.
When I look at my life now—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually—it’s better in every way. Choosing to step away from alcohol wasn’t about restriction. It was about alignment. About becoming the man I knew I was capable of being.
Alcohol had its chapter in my life. But it no longer belongs in the story. For me, the truth is simple: alcohol has got to go—and what came next was everything I’d been looking for.
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