You’ve heard it on coffee mugs and decorative wall art: Choose joy. Great idea in theory, but when you’re trying to figure out how to have fun at Christmas without drinking, when drinking is all you’ve known until now, it’s not quite as simple.
Or maybe it is. Maybe it’s just that we’ve been looking at it the wrong way. Joy isn’t just an emotion that happens to you. It’s not something you chase, manufacture, or pour from a bottle. Joy is a choice—and more importantly, it’s an action you can practice.
When you remove alcohol from the equation, you’re not subtracting joy from your holidays. You’re making space for the real thing to show up. And trust us, what arrives is often more magical than anything you imagined.
TL;DR: Quick Takeaways
- Joy without alcohol feels different—deeper, more meaningful, and more sustainable
- The holidays won’t be exactly the same, but different doesn’t mean wrong
- Having fun at Christmas without drinking means being present for the moments that truly matter
- Joy isn’t something you perform; it’s something you uncover when you stop numbing
Jump to:
Will the Holidays Be the Same Without Alcohol?
I’ll be straight with you – no, the holidays won’t be exactly the same. But here’s what you might not expect—they can become better.
Annie Grace, founder of This Naked Mind, discovered something profound in her own journey. When examining the research of happiness expert Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, who identified ten core positive emotions (joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love), Annie realized something startling: “I was not experiencing joy through consuming alcohol… and didn’t begin to experience it until I quit drinking altogether.”
New things, they take some getting used to. Athletes break in new equipment. We use GPS to find our way when we’re traveling somewhere new. And this alcohol-free life it might feel uncomfortable while getting through your firsts. But with your clear head, inner peace, and actual memory-making capabilities, you’ll adjust and be a pro at it in no time.
This Naked Mind Certified Coach Zoe Ewart shares her own experience decorating the Christmas tree without her usual bottle of champagne: “That vulnerability opened the door to real magic.” When you stop performing the holiday rituals you think you should enjoy and start noticing what actually brings you joy, everything shifts.
Understanding What Joy Really Is
Before we dive deeper into alcohol-free holidays, let’s talk about what joy actually means. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a leading happiness researcher at the University of North Carolina, defines joy as one of ten core positive emotions that create genuine human fulfillment. But joy isn’t just “feeling happy“—it’s something much more profound.
Recent research from the UK reveals that joy is conceptually distinct from happiness. While happiness is generally a broader, more stable state associated with life satisfaction, joy is more intense and transcendent—a deeply felt emotion that often arises spontaneously in response to meaningful experiences or connections. Unlike happiness, which can be cultivated through goal achievement or positive circumstances, joy may emerge in unexpected moments, even amid hardship.
Joy is often described as “a feeling of actual pleasure in the soul” rather than just pleasure in our bodies. Think of it as spontaneous enjoyment of the moment—being so engaged with what’s happening right in front of you that everything else falls away. Not because your problems don’t matter, but because they’re not clouding your ability to connect with the present moment.
Here’s what makes this especially relevant to your alcohol-free holiday: when you’re drinking, you might experience momentary pleasure, a fleeting body high, or temporary relief. But true joy—the kind that touches your soul—requires presence. And presence requires consciousness. You can’t experience real joy while numbing.
The Paradox of Pursuing Joy
Recent research reveals something surprising: the more we chase happiness, the more it eludes us. A 2024 study found that people who actively tracked and pursued happiness reported significantly lower well-being than those who focused on meaning rather than happiness itself. It’s the “happiness trap”—when we constantly ask “am I happy yet?” we block our ability to actually experience joy.
Even more counterintuitively, the 2024 World Happiness Report discovered that people who faced and processed difficult emotions reported 40 percent higher life satisfaction than those who avoided challenges. Your discomfort in early alcohol-free holidays isn’t blocking joy—it’s actually building your capacity for deeper, more sustainable happiness. It’s like emotional muscles: they need resistance to grow stronger.
And here’s something beautiful: research now confirms that joy can exist as a “mixed-emotional state.” You can experience joy alongside sorrow. This means your first alcohol-free holiday doesn’t need to be perfectly happy to be joyful. Those moments of genuine connection with family, even while navigating grief or difficulty, are real joy.
What Does an Alcohol-Free Holiday Feel Like?
Remember Annie’s insight about joy? She noticed something crucial: “My feelings of joy started when I would order my glass of wine or when I would reach for the bottle well before it ever touched my lips.” That anticipation—that was the placebo effect of addiction, not actual joy. And she certainly wasn’t joyful three or four glasses later, or the next morning.
Real joy—the kind that touches your soul rather than just providing a fleeting body high—feels like:
Contentment with what is. Not the frantic energy of trying to make everything perfect, but recognizing and honoring the beauty of each moment exactly as it unfolds.
Connection that lands. When you’re truly present, conversations go deeper. Laughter feels genuine. Hugs actually register in your heart instead of your foggy brain.
Memories you actually keep. No more waking up at 3 a.m. with anxiety, trying to piece together what you said or did. Just peaceful sleep and clear recollections of the magical moments you created.
As Annie describes it: “Joy, I think, is more profound than that. You can have joy that is lasting joy rather than joy that is fleeting joy and joy that comes from a lot of really important deepening experiences and that’s more holistic.”
How to Have Fun at Christmas Without Drinking
Here’s where joy stops being a concept and becomes an action. This Naked Mind Certified Coach, Zoe Ewart, offers five foundational pillars for making your alcohol-free holiday not just doable, but genuinely fulfilling:
1. Positive peer pressure (the good kind) Surround yourself with people who support your journey. Join This Naked Mind’s Live Alcohol Experiment community where you’ll find thousands of people navigating the holidays alcohol-free together.
2. The 24-hour rule When cravings hit, commit to waiting just 24 hours. Often, that’s all it takes for your nervous system to settle and the craving to pass.
3. Drop negative expectations Stop planning from perfection and start preparing with compassion. The holidays don’t need to be Instagram-perfect to be meaningful.
4. Curiosity without judgment Notice your feelings without making them wrong. “Huh, I’m feeling uncomfortable right now” is so much more helpful than “I’m failing at this.”
5. Self-compassion This might be your first alcohol-free holiday season. Be as kind to yourself as you’d be to your best friend in the same situation.
And here’s a practical tip: create response scripts for social situations. You don’t need to over-explain your choices. A simple “I’m not drinking tonight” works beautifully. Protect your emotional energy by deciding ahead of time how you’ll handle those questions.
Joy as Presence, Not Performance
This Naked Mind Certified Coach, Pam McRae, offers this powerful reframe: joy isn’t something you chase—it’s an energy that rises naturally when you stop numbing.
Think about it. How many holiday traditions have you been performing on autopilot? The champagne toast you don’t even taste. The wine you sip while cooking because that’s what you’ve always done. And yes, the cocktails at the office party because everyone else is drinking.
When you remove the alcohol, you stop performing the holidays and start experiencing them.
Annie puts it this way: “A good practice to infuse joy into your life is to really listen for it and acknowledge it. When you catch a blissful moment or occurrence (whether it’s your kids playing, the sun setting, your day flowing with ease, or a peculiar synchronicity that brings a smile to your face) it is important to honor it in whatever way feels right for you.”
The holidays become more magical, not less, when you’re finally present enough to feel them. That’s not a platitude. It is a promise from thousands of people who’ve experienced their first alcohol-free holiday season and discovered something extraordinary waiting on the other side of fear.
Choose joy this season. Not because it sounds good on a coffee mug, but because you deserve to experience the real thing—the kind that touches your soul, deepens your connections, and actually lasts beyond Christmas morning.
Looking for tips on seeking out joy amidst the ups and downs of this season? Check out Finding Joy and Connection: What the Holidays Feel Like Without Alcohol on the This Naked Mind podcast.
Want a New Year Where You Choose Joy? Start January 1st
The LIVE Alcohol Experiment starts January 1st — and it’s a way to choose joy from day 1. Whether you’re curious about taking a break, cutting back, or exploring long-term freedom, this 30-day program gives you everything you need.
For just $67, you get:
- Daily science-backed videos that explain your drinking patterns (no judgment, just facts)
- Live Q&A sessions every single day with certified This Naked Mind coaches
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- Practical tools for handling stress, boredom, cravings, and social pressure
- Lifetime access to all content so you can revisit whenever you need it
This isn’t about restriction or deprivation. It’s about curiosity, clarity, and discovering who you are without alcohol clouding the picture.
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About Annie Grace
Annie Grace is the author and founder of This Naked Mind and creator of The Alcohol Experiment. Her work blends neuroscience, psychology, and compassionate habit change to help people transform their relationship with alcohol and, more importantly, with themselves. This Naked Mind is not here to shame your choices—we’re here to help you get curious about the beliefs behind them so you can build a life you don’t need to numb.
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