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TL;DR: Using alcohol to cope with trauma is more widespread than many think. In this impactful narrative, Janie reveals how she relied on alcohol to mask her buried emotions, why conventional recovery methods fell short for her, and how discovering This Naked Mind ultimately led to her achieving true freedom.
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics such as trauma, sexual abuse, self-harm, and alcohol use as a coping mechanism. Please read with caution and skip this narrative if it may be triggering for you.
Have you ever questioned why some individuals resort to alcohol during their most challenging times? For many, drinking as a reaction to trauma becomes a reflexive way to cope, offering temporary relief that ultimately leads to deeper anguish. Janie’s experience highlights the intricate link between untreated trauma and alcohol dependence, and importantly, how realizing the true effects of alcohol can liberate you—even when traditional recovery approaches have failed.
From Sobriety to Social Drinking
I was raised in an environment where alcohol was absent. My parents didn’t indulge, and I held a firm stance against drinking throughout my youth. My commitment was so strong that I refrained from drinking even when I reached college, waiting until I turned 21 because it was against the law. The only glimpse I had of alcohol was when my brother hosted wild parties at our house while our parents were away, which I avoided at all costs.
My journey with alcohol started innocently after I got married. I began social drinking, engaging in activities that seemed completely normal for married couples at gatherings. For several years, alcohol was a minor element in my life—until a traumatic event changed everything.
When Life Shattered: The First Crack in My Foundation
The initial trauma that sent me into a spiral occurred when my eldest son was arrested for drug possession. We had no clue he was involved with drugs, although we were aware of his questionable friends. To shorten the story, he vanished for a few days, causing me immense anxiety. When I eventually traced him, it was because he called from jail.
My heart shattered. The anguish was insufferable, and I began using wine to dull the intense feelings. This marked the start of my journey in using alcohol as a coping mechanism, even though I didn’t recognize it at the time. I merely felt that drinking helped ease the crushing burden of disappointment and fear.
The Flashback That Changed Everything
The second experience that heightened my reliance on alcohol occurred during a business trip. After a lengthy meeting, everyone gathered at the hotel bar for drinks, and I joined in. A colleague approached to greet me, and I could smell whiskey on his breath. In that moment, something unexpected occurred—I experienced a vivid flashback that knocked me off my feet.
As a child, I had been sexually abused by a family member for many years, but I had buried those memories deep within my mind. That night, the scent of whiskey unleashed those repressed memories in a devastating rush.
The Descent into Darkness
Upon returning home from that trip, a doctor suggested I check into a treatment center. I spent eight days there, but when I got back home and returned to work, I didn’t pursue ongoing therapy. Instead, I turned to what I mistakenly thought was helping—alcohol became my main coping strategy for the resurfaced memories and the pain they brought.
My evening routine became distressingly predictable: I’d come home and down an entire bottle of wine. After everyone went to bed and the house fell silent, I started self-harming. This harmful cycle of using alcohol to cope, mixed with self-inflicted pain, persisted for a couple of years. I was overwhelmed by anguish and using the only tools I believed I had to survive each day.
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Failed Attempts at Traditional Recovery
Before I discovered This Naked Mind, I tried to resolve my issues through AA, which ended up being a poor choice. While AA helps some, it made me feel worse about myself. As someone with a logical and educated mind, the outdated “science” of AA and its teachings that hadn’t adapted to today’s culture frustrated me immensely.
In the summer of 2020, I was drinking more heavily than ever and regularly self-harming. In desperation, I opted to attend rehab for 30 days. Regrettably, I believe this experience caused me more harm than AA. I specifically asked ahead of time if they offered treatments beyond AA, and they assured me they did, but upon arrival, I was required to attend AA meetings on-site. When I voiced my concerns, they merely left some materials about SMART Recovery on my bed.
The Rehab Experience That Nearly Broke Me
The person in charge of the program met with each new arrival individually. When I shared that I had attended several AA meetings previously without succeeding, he called me a liar. He didn’t believe I had ever been to a meeting. When I mentioned my PTSD diagnosis stemming from childhood trauma, he again accused me of lying.
Miraculously, I didn’t walk out then, but I was desperate for assistance. Although rehab offered some benefits—I connected with other women facing similar challenges who remain friends today, and I was away from alcohol for 30 days—these advantages faded quickly, and I returned to drinking shortly after getting back home.
Discovering This Naked Mind: The Game Changer
Then I encountered This Naked Mind. I can’t remember
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I’m not sure how it first came to my attention, but back in 2020, I downloaded the audiobook, and it changed everything for me. I’ve listened to it numerous times since, and I can’t stress enough how this book reshaped my views on alcohol and addiction.
After finishing it, I felt compelled to spread the word about the risks associated with alcohol. I wanted to make people see that anyone can grapple with alcohol dependency and that it wasn’t a matter of weakness or some sort of biological deficiency on my part. I had so many insights I needed to share that I became that person preaching to anyone who would listen—but for very good reasons.
Ready to Begin Your Journey?
If Janie’s experience strikes a chord with you, know that you’re not alone. Grasping the real impact of alcohol on our minds and bodies is the first step towards liberation. Whether you’re using alcohol as a way to cope with trauma or simply want to reassess your relationship with it, knowledge is your greatest tool. Download the first 40 pages of This Naked Mind now to kickstart your journey!
Transformative Insights
This Naked Mind opened my eyes to so many truths I wished I had learned earlier. The discussions I often heard became incredibly clear: the threats of alcohol and its harmful effects on the individual and society at large. Most crucially, I discovered that I wasn’t flawed for falling into alcohol’s trap.
I don’t fit the conventional definition of an alcoholic. I’m not genetically predisposed or physically impaired in any particular way. The book helped me realize that my drinking was a response to trauma, a sensible reaction to pain considering what I understood about alcohol at that time. Most importantly, it empowered me to avoid alcohol because I no longer wished to pollute my body with it.
The Journey to True Freedom
I confess I have fallen off the wagon multiple times. I would listen to the audiobook, think I’d overcome my struggles with alcohol, and then find myself backtracking. I would replay the audiobook and slip again. However, just a couple of months ago, I listened to it once more, and I am finally DONE with alcohol.
My family has observed a remarkable shift in my mood and perspective. My health has significantly enhanced. I wake up feeling energized and ready to tackle each day. I’m actively pursuing new friendships; I used to be quite isolated, but now I’m eager to form meaningful connections.
Life Begins at 60
At 60 years old, I’m more excited about what lies ahead than I’ve ever been. I feel a surge of motivation to pursue all the things I’ve always dreamed of. It’s astonishing to think that my life feels like it’s just beginning, especially considering how dark things were not too long ago.
The best part is that I’m no longer inflicting harm on myself or my loved ones. I’ve stopped self-harming, the wine bottles are out of my life, and the shame that once consumed me has been replaced with understanding and self-kindness.
A Note to My Former Self
If I had a message for my past self, it would be to forgive yourself. As Annie mentioned in a recent podcast, “Is it truly a choice if we lack all the information?” I firmly believe that if I had known everything about alcohol back then, I would never have started drinking.
My experience isn’t unique—many people turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism without realizing the harm they’re causing. The answer is education, understanding, and self-forgiveness, rather than succumbing to shame or relying on conventional recovery methods that often don’t tackle the root issues of our suffering.
Share Your Journey
Did you quit drinking as a means to cope with trauma through our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind? We invite you to share your story here and motivate others on their path!
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