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Main Takeaways:
- While technology can be disruptive and distracting, it also plays many beneficial roles in our lives.
- Rather than feeling guilty about your reliance on technology, embrace it and strive to use it effectively.
- Technology is intertwined with human nature—it is inherently part of who we are.
- Understanding your reasons for wanting a healthier relationship with technology can assist in altering your habits.
When I initially began my meditation journey, I found myself frantically trying to quiet my racing mind. My self-criticism was intense because I was yearning for a change. Feeling numb and adrift, I believed that if I could just stop my thoughts, everything would feel perfect. So I gritted my teeth and attempted to silence my inner dialogue.
My meditation practice improved once I stopped trying so hard to eliminate my thoughts. I began to accept them as a natural aspect of being human, which they are. Sometimes they’re challenging, other times useful, and occasionally downright silly—I came to terms with my thoughts. I let them drift in and out like clouds floating in the sky. Eventually, I realized that viewing thinking as a problem was just another fleeting thought.
A lot of us get trapped in a similar cycle with our technology use. In today’s society, the idea of completely eliminating technology feels akin to attempting to stop thinking altogether. An inspirational quote from a yoga instructor on social media might urge you to “clear your mind,” but that task is futile and only serves to pile on unnecessary guilt and shame. When new thoughts inevitably surface, you might criticize yourself for not succeeding. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
There are technologies designed to respect your attention and even help restore it, but these are not the majority. Most of what we encounter can be a barrage of distracting and triggering tech that diminishes our focus and patience.
The more technology interrupts our lives, the more we tend to blame it for our troubles. This can lead to a desperate desire for freedom, prompting us to try to disconnect. Yet, technology is so deeply woven into our modern existence that it isn’t long before we feel the need to reconnect. This back-and-forth dynamic often leads to feelings of shame and self-judgment about our attachment to the gadgets we rely on.
Mindfulness provides a pathway forward, with acceptance as the initial step.
Finding a Balanced Approach to Technology
It’s a mistake to hold technology solely accountable for our challenges, much like trying to force ourselves to halt our thoughts. Just as meditators learn to coexist with their thoughts, we can gradually work towards establishing a balanced relationship with technology. This process may not be straightforward, but awareness can be powerful and is always within reach. By tapping into it, you might fend off a few manipulative tactics employed by various apps. If this seems daunting, consider engaging in formal meditation to cultivate your self-awareness. If even that feels unmanageable, it might be wise to set some limits or remove certain apps from your life.
Of course, companies should focus on ethical designs, scientists should continue examining the impact of tech on mental health, and lawmakers should consider regulations. However, in this moment, you have the power to direct your thoughts wherever you please. Pessimists who claim we are merely victims of larger forces often tout this perspective as realism, but the real struggle occurs in the mundane details of everyday life. You retain choice. Even if you can’t influence those around you, you can still take charge of your own mind.
Whether you decide to put your devices down today or choose to spend the entire day in front of a screen, there’s no cause for shame. A bit of guilt can motivate you to adhere to your goals, but if you’re consistently feeling bad about yourself, it’s time for a change. It’s easy to drown in guilt upon realizing you’ve spent the day lost in the digital world. Conversely, it’s equally easy to feel guilty for disconnecting, for missing messages, or for falling behind on social media and news updates.
Blaming technology for all our problems is the same mistake we make when we try to force ourselves to stop thinking.
Is there ever a moment where it’s okay to not feel guilty? Even when you’re glued to a screen, your worth remains intact. There’s no reason to harbor shame or to be hard on yourself. Acknowledge both your affection for technology and your desire to limit it. Accept your loved ones too, even if they’re engrossed in their screens. There’s no need to unjustly punish children or scorn others for their modern habits. Embrace individuals of all ages, even if their relationship with technology seems strange to you.
From this basis of acceptance, pay attention to how technology influences you. Forgive yourself when it leads you astray, because it undoubtedly will. Acknowledge how it happens, and you can become better at transitioning between the online and offline realms without getting ensnared. Living a mindful digital life is achievable.
You don’t need to escape to the mountains or switch to a basic phone to find balance. Of course, consider taking a break from technology if you feel it’s necessary. Perhaps you might want to visit a retreat center or even travel to India for self-discovery, as I’ve found significant growth through such retreats over the years. Stepping away from your usual routine can assist in breaking compulsive behaviors and gaining fresh perspectives. However, don’t let the advantages of a temporary digital hiatus distract you from mastering how to use technology effectively day-to-day.
Understanding Nature and Our Place Within It
When we feel overwhelmed, we often express a desire to “get out into nature” or take a “nature walk,” yet we are just as much a part of nature as the birds and trees surrounding us. So are the flies hovering around your trash and the mold on forgotten fruit. Nature isn’t confined to a specific location out there; it’s everywhere. So what are we really seeking?
We tend to view our modern existence as artificial, but is that perception accurate? For the past couple of years during spring, a robin has nestled on the light fixture by my front door. Each time my child and I step outside, she fiercely squawks to protect her young. We enjoy observing Mrs. Robinson’s daily activities.
Inside the home holding that nest, my family engages in cooking with advanced appliances and adjusts temperatures for comfort. We watch television, connect on social media, indulge in video games, and work on computers. While it may feel miles apart from a nest, our method of utilizing materials from nature to construct our modern lives isn’t fundamentally different from a bird gathering twigs, just on a larger scale.
We think of our modern lives as artificial, but is that really true?
It can be beneficial to rethink our technological advancements as inherent to nature. We often perceive ourselves as separate from the organic world, embracing the notion of being special, yet you likely acknowledge that you are indeed part of nature. So, why wouldn’t your nest be considered natural, just like that of Mrs. Robinson’s?
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This perspective seems skewed; it’s easy to romanticize Mother Nature. Keep in mind that she can be as destructive as she is harmonious. While there is endless beauty in the oceans, trees, and skies, we must also recognize the presence of viral outbreaks, natural calamities, and predators hunting their prey. When I refer to our technology as natural, I’m certainly not implying that it’s entirely beneficial.
Nowadays, we admonish our children to put down their devices while we’re engrossed in ours. A quick text check can lead to hours of scrolling. We can easily get trapped in social media, leaving us feeling inadequate. We skim through divisive headlines, making it seem like the world is in chaos. Even during our downtime, we find ourselves obsessively responding to work emails.
At times, we feel more used than users.
However, technology also has its beautiful, marvelous, and inspiring aspects. It connects us in previously unthinkable ways and can bring immense joy. It supports our productivity and organization. We have the freedom to express ourselves like never before. Personally, I use it to collaborate and stay engaged with people across the globe. I harness it to enjoy music and even for meditation.
Technology as Part of Human Nature
You might be a fan of smartphones and social media. If that describes you, acknowledging their drawbacks can be difficult without feeling defensive. On the flip side, you might despise how your devices intrude on every moment, feeling they control—if not devastate—your life. You might notice their negative impact on those you cherish. If you’re someone yearning for a simpler life away from technology, it might be hard to see the incredible benefits technology can bring.
Recognizing technology as a facet of who we are requires an understanding that it’s not an alien force. It’s neither wholly good nor bad; it’s a reflection of us. Even the most advanced AIs we encounter depend on the data and images we provide; they cannot exist without us. The internet serves as a powerful extension of our minds, amplifying our weaknesses as much as our strengths. In order to foster a healthier relationship with technology, we need to cultivate a healthier relationship with ourselves.
Recognizing technology as a facet of who we are requires an understanding that it’s not an alien force. It’s neither wholly good nor bad; it’s a reflection of us.
This is where the matter takes on a spiritual dimension.
Technology isn’t just a part of nature; it embodies human nature. These days, it can be draining. With our minds consistently tethered to devices, finding balance has never been more crucial. Our technology often reflects our values back to us but in a warped manner, frequently achieving the opposite of what we seek. It can isolate us just as easily as it connects us; it dulls us as much as it sparks inspiration; it captivates us while also leaving us bored.
At times, we yearn to escape from the inundation of emails, feeds, and ongoing requests for likes and subscriptions. We want to distance ourselves from the news, social media, online shopping, adult content, video games, and those exhausting group chats filled with misunderstandings. When we express a desire to “connect with nature,” what we often intend is to find relief from our human nature. We seek an escape from ourselves.
This urge is understandable. Our minds are interlinked with countless others, each producing thousands of thoughts a day. Many are organized to profit from this flow, developing distracting and stressful applications—essentially tools of mass distraction. Meanwhile, others strive to make the collective consciousness enjoyable, helpful, and empowering. Sadly, both approaches yield numerous unintended side effects.
You Always Have a Choice
Experts are examining the impact of technology on our minds, working to regulate its use and set standards for ethical, humane tech design. But what about the rest of us? What if you’re not in a position to make decisions? If you feel powerless against science, government, media, or technology, must you simply wait for change? Absolutely not.
Our responsibility is to recognize how technology influences us and those we care for. We have the ability to become more intentional users of technology in our daily lives. We can be more discerning about the tech we engage with and set limits on apps that take advantage of us, while still enjoying the experiences that bring us happiness, enhance our lives, and foster positive transformations.
It may seem like a daunting task, especially when compulsive screen time feels beyond our control. Technology companies can certainly exploit our behaviors, and unethical leaders must be held accountable. Yet, there’s no need to succumb to despair and wait for someone else to come to our rescue. As technology relentlessly demands our attention and overwhelms us, our well-being increasingly relies on the quality of our relationship with it. If mindfulness has taught me anything, it’s that you always have a choice regarding how you interact with your experiences.
A Practice for Embracing the Joy of Technology
When you have a moment, indulge in a technology that brings you happiness. It’s so easy to get caught up in the notion of what you should or shouldn’t be doing. This simple practice serves as a remedy for that. Give yourself permission to enjoy something!
- Select a technology that brings you joy. It may be challenging to remain present with something that evolves rapidly, so prefer experiences with a slower pace. For instance, if you enjoy stand-up comedy, opt for a full-length show instead of watching several short clips.
- Eliminate distractions. Prepare for the experience by arranging the tech and putting away potential distractions. For instance, if you’re about to watch a show, set aside your phone and tablet, and perhaps request privacy from others in your living space.
- Fully immerse in the experience. You might start with a few deep breaths, possibly closing your eyes. When you feel ready, begin to engage with the technology. Notice how it makes you feel and try to remain present. Taking your time can be beneficial; for example, if you’re playing a video game, savor the experience and acknowledge any thoughts or feelings that arise.
- Release negative feelings like shame and doubt. If thoughts or feelings about wasting time or the strangeness of this practice surface, accept them without resistance but don’t dwell on them either. Keep focusing on your immediate experience with the technology.
- Let the positive feelings flow. If you experience any positive emotions or thoughts, pay close attention to them and allow them to flourish. For example, if a podcast you’re listening to shares something humorous, try to relish that moment completely.
- Conclude when you feel ready, but not prematurely. Some experiences will have a natural conclusion, like finishing a TV episode. Others will require you to find your own stopping point, such as scrolling through social media. Regardless, avoid ending your practice at the first sign of discomfort. Give it a chance to play out, ride the ups and downs. When finished, turn off the device and take a few moments to breathe, reflect, or meditate before moving on.
Excerpt from RECLAIM YOUR MIND: Seven Strategies to Enjoy Tech Mindfully by Jay Vidyarthi, published by Still Ape Press (February 2025). Copyright © 2025 by Jay Vidyarthi. Reprinted with the permission of the author.