What happens when someone who grew up surrounded by alcohol, who watched it destroy relationships and fuel violence, eventually picks up a drink themselves—and doesn’t see anything wrong with it? For Mark, this wasn’t a hypothetical question. It was his life. Like so many people who have normalized drinking from a young age, Mark found himself saying, “I didn’t think my drinking was a problem.” He had witnessed alcohol devastate his family for decades, yet when he started drinking at 42, it felt harmless—even deserved. Drinking can feel normal right up until it doesn’t. What follows is a celebratory journey of how he found clarity, reclaimed his health, and discovered a freedom that feels better than numbness ever did.
Trigger Warning: This story mentions physical abuse.
Growing Up in the Shadow of Alcohol
My earliest memories are tangled up with alcohol. My mom and birth father both came from alcoholic families, and after they divorced, my mom married another alcoholic. Then another. And another. Each marriage brought more volatility, more chaos, and more physical abuse into our home. Alcohol wasn’t just present in my childhood—it was the backdrop to everything. By the time I reached my teenage years, I thought drinking was completely normal. My mom let us have beer at my 8th grade graduation as a reward for finishing school. I didn’t question it. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. In fact, I actually drank way less than anyone else in high school. There was no thrill in rebelling when drinking was already accepted, even encouraged, in my family. What I didn’t realize then was how deeply those early experiences were shaping my understanding of alcohol. I normalized it because I had to. Seeing it as a problem would have meant confronting painful truths about the people I loved. So instead, I filed it away as just another part of life.
A 22-Year Break That Ended with Celebration
When I became a Christian at 20, I made the decision not to drink. For 22 years, alcohol wasn’t part of my life at all. I didn’t miss it, didn’t think about it, and didn’t feel like I was sacrificing anything. That changed when I turned 42. By then, our kids were in high school, and I had started a business that became very successful very quickly. I learned that drinking was actually acceptable within my faith community, and I started celebrating business wins with a drink. What began as occasional celebration quickly became something more. I didn’t think my drinking was a problem at first. After all, I had gone more than two decades without it. I wasn’t like the alcoholics I grew up with. I was a successful business owner, a devoted father, a man of faith. How could I possibly have a problem? But soon I noticed something troubling: I thought nothing was fun without alcohol being available. That realization should have been a warning sign, but I pushed it aside.
The Exhausting Cycle of Moderation and Guilt
My approach to controlling my drinking followed a pattern many people will recognize. I created rules for myself. Wednesday nights became a mid-week party ritual. Friday and Saturday nights were drinking nights too. As long as I stuck to those designated times, I told myself I was fine. But rules are made to be broken, and when I drank on other nights, the guilt would crash in. I’d quit for a week. Then a month. One summer, I stopped entirely. But I always went back. For three years, I lived in this exhausting cycle. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t think my drinking was a problem in the way that real alcoholics had problems. I was functioning. I was successful. I wasn’t falling apart—at least not in ways other people could see. During this time, I found myself typing questions into Google that I was too ashamed to ask anyone out loud: Am I an alcoholic? How do I quit drinking? Those searches led me to This Naked Mind, and everything started to shift.
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Finding Guidance in an Unexpected Place
I have always been selective about where I seek advice. As a Christian, I wanted guidance that aligned with my faith, and I was wary of any source that didn’t openly share my beliefs. But the Bible didn’t give me clear answers about my situation. Drinking was clearly acceptable in Scripture, which only made my confusion worse. I listened to sermon after sermon on the topic, searching for clarity that never came. Then I found Annie Grace’s book and podcast. From the very first moment, I felt like I had received a gift from God. It sounds strange to say, but I believe that’s exactly what it was. I made a decision early on: I wasn’t there to judge or evaluate whether the people teaching me shared my exact beliefs. I was there to learn and unlearn. I chose to see everyone who contributed to my journey—regardless of their background or faith—as instruments of grace helping me break free from bondage. This Naked Mind gave me the tools to examine my relationship with alcohol honestly. It helped me understand why I thought nothing was fun without drinking and why moderation had never worked for me. Most importantly, it helped me see that I didn’t have to keep struggling.
A New Life: 2.5 Years of Freedom and Counting
I had my last drink on New Year’s Eve 2022. As I write this, I’m celebrating over 2.5 years alcohol-free, and my life has transformed in ways I never expected. I’m healthier than I’ve been in years. I’m incredibly fit. My new bedtime is between 7:30 and 8 PM, and I wake up between 4 and 5 AM feeling completely refreshed. I’ve been able to stop taking cholesterol medication. My mind is sharper than ever. Has life become perfect? Absolutely not. We’ve faced significant family heartache since I stopped drinking. In some ways, life is harder now because I used to numb those difficult feelings with alcohol. Now I feel everything. But here’s what I’ve discovered: feeling free from alcohol trumps everything else. When challenges come—and they do—I face them with a clear mind. I’m present. I’m capable. I’m not running from pain into the temporary escape of a bottle.
The Simple Question That Changes Everything
If I could go back and tell my old self one thing, it would be this: Ask yourself, “Does this make my life better or worse?” And answer honestly. It’s such a simple question, but it’s the one that sets you free. When I finally got honest with myself about how alcohol was affecting my life, the answer was undeniable. It wasn’t making anything better. It was only making things worse. The truth I learned through This Naked Mind has helped me in every other area of my life too. That same question—does this make my life better or worse?—has become my compass for decisions big and small. Today, I wake up every morning grateful for my freedom. I’m no longer trapped in the cycle of rules, guilt, and temporary abstinence. I’m not white-knuckling my way through social events or counting down the days until I can drink again. I’m simply free.
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