Navigating Conflict in Marriage: Effective Strategies for Resolution

The ideal scenario for your marriage is to avoid arguments altogether. However, if a disagreement arises, it’s important to engage in fair fighting. Keep these guidelines in mind:

 1. No physical altercations; save that for the garage boys.
 2. Refrain from using offensive language.
 3. Avoid threats of divorce or separation.
 4. Don’t criticize, blame, or compare your partner to others.

 5. Don’t bring up past arguments.
 6. Communicate honestly and calmly.
 7. Keep your partner’s secrets confidential.
 8. Avoid the silent treatment. Keep communicating with love until you find a solution.

 9. Take responsibility. Rather than blaming your partner, acknowledge your own faults; be aware of your mistakes. Avoid being self-righteous, as it takes two to create conflict.

 Accept your shortcomings graciously.
 10. Offer heartfelt apologies to your partner.
 11. Break any negative feelings.
 12. Maintain a positive outlook on your spouse and your marriage; eliminate thoughts of separation.
 13. Choose to forgive when you’ve been hurt.
 14. Practice positive self-talk. Remind yourself of your spouse’s value. You might say something like: “David (insert your name), why are you battling with your partner? It benefits you nothing. Why not choose peace and let the Holy Spirit guide your home?” Repeating affirming thoughts like these can relieve feelings of anger and bitterness, paving the way for smoother reconciliation.

 RULES FOR ARGUMENTS
Couples should prepare themselves for disputes by establishing certain rules when things are calm. These guidelines include:

 1. Never go to bed without resolving your argument.
 2. Do not involve outsiders, except for a trained pastor or marriage counselor.
 3. Never shout or resort to violence, regardless of the circumstances.

 4. Continue dining together and sharing a bed, no matter the situation.
 5. Maintain love for each other even in trying times.
 6. Make family prayers a priority, regardless of circumstances.
 7. Always seek reconciliation during conflicts.

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8. Always report to God about each other.
9. Put aside any disagreements when children or guests are present.
10. Handle all your “conflicts” in private, with love. Avoid public arguments.
11. The man should have the last word, but the wife must also have the chance to express her thoughts, and the man should truly listen to her perspective.

As you follow these principles, I pray for God’s grace to bless your marriage abundantly in Jesus Name.