Have you ever thought to yourself—that will never be me—as you walked past someone slumped over at the bar? Dale thought that too. And for a long time, it wasn’t him. Until it was. Today, Dale is sharing his descent into drinking, his rise from it, and how he’s staying sober with This Naked Mind. Learn how he went from living a life completely controlled by alcohol to feeling so free that he can sit at a bar next to friends who are drinking and not feel tempted at all.
When Social Drinking Became Something More
I never thought I’d become an alcoholic. That was something that happened to other people, not me. Growing up, alcohol wasn’t really an issue for me as a child. Sure, I had a few drinking adventures as a teenager, but those were pretty rare occasions. My relationship with alcohol really started to take shape in my adult years, and looking back now, I can see exactly how it happened—slowly, quietly, and then all at once. Alcohol became a social tool for me. Most of my friends were drinking, so I just joined in with them. I genuinely liked the way it made me feel. I enjoyed the taste of a good beer. I loved hanging out with my friends and copping a good beer buzz. But it wasn’t just social—I also enjoyed drinking when I was by myself, simply watching TV, reading a book, or playing guitar. It was relaxing and always felt like a nice little addition to whatever I was doing. I was 100% convinced it would never, ever turn into a problem. That was my biggest mistake.
The Slow Descent Into Daily Drinking
By the late 1990s, having a few drinks every night wasn’t out of the ordinary for me. It certainly hadn’t spiraled out of control by that point, but by the time I got into the 2000s, my idea of a bedtime snack had become a six-pack. I actually needed it to be able to fall asleep. As the years went by and we got into the mid-2000s, those nightly drinks started creeping in earlier and earlier into the day. Suddenly, having a couple of “tall boys” in the afternoon started becoming par for the course. By the late 2000s, I had started a new job in a new city and was basically a full-blown alcoholic. I typically didn’t start work until mid-afternoon, so having a few drinks before going in wasn’t out of the ordinary. During my supper break, I’d hit a liquor store on the way home and have a few before going back to work to complete the evening portion of my shift. Then of course, I’d pick up a six-pack or a case of beer on the way home and drink well into the early morning hours, every single night.
When Alcohol Took Complete Control
By the 2010s, the wheels truly came off. I would wake up in the morning and have a few drinks just to stave off the cravings and the shakes. Every waking moment was spent mapping out my drinking day and figuring out how I would get what I needed by the end of the day. Physically, I was losing the battle and mentally I wasn’t doing myself any favors either. Alcohol had completely taken over my life. The only way I could get through a busy workday without drinking was if I knew there would be a case of beer waiting for me in my bedroom to drink by myself at the end of the night. I would make sure I took time out of my workday to go to the liquor store and get that case of beer. Once I achieved that, I was able to relax and complete my work day because I knew I had picked up what I would need. Looking back, I can’t believe how much effort I put into my drinking. It was like a full-time job—not only to get the drinks I needed, but to hide it all from my family and friends.
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The Day Everything Changed
In 2013, I was injured in a car accident where I fractured three ribs and punctured a lung. When I got discharged from the hospital, I didn’t ask the doctor about my condition—I asked him how soon I could start drinking again. That was my priority, and that was the final descent to rock bottom. I hit rock bottom spectacularly on June 23, 2015, when I woke up with the most horrific stomach pain I had ever felt. Not surprisingly, it was alcoholic pancreatitis. I spent 10 days in the hospital. The first three or four days I have no recollection of whatsoever, but I’m told it was pretty ugly as they detoxed me. My best friend, as well as my parents, got a front-row seat to all of that. I had dragged innocent people into my alcoholic mess. By the time I was stabilized enough, the doctor told me, not surprisingly, that I could never, ever drink again. After experiencing that kind of pain and getting that kind of health scare, thank God, I got the message. I got out of the hospital and I haven’t touched a drop since, and I never will again.
Finding Connection and Understanding Through This Naked Mind
It was probably about five years after I got sober that I discovered This Naked Mind. I can’t remember exactly how I found it, but I just liked the way the articles were written and I really felt like I identified with them. Some of the experiences Annie spoke of really resonated with me. While staying sober with This Naked Mind wasn’t what initially got me sober—that was my health crisis—the community and resources helped me understand my journey better and reinforced that I wasn’t alone. The articles and content gave me language for experiences I’d had but couldn’t quite articulate. Reading about other people’s struggles and victories made me realize how universal the patterns of addiction are, and how possible recovery truly is for anyone willing to do the work.
Life on the Other Side: Simple, Peaceful, and Free
My life now is great. It’s so simple. I don’t spend every waking minute mapping out my next drink. In hindsight, I can’t believe how much mental energy and time I devoted to my drinking. Now, I wake up and have coffee, and the fact that I don’t drink anymore really isn’t a big deal. Every now and then I think about where I am in my sobriety, but I don’t think about it too hard. I don’t drink, and I don’t have any urge to drink. It’s really that simple. My family and friends can drink around me and it doesn’t bother me in the least. The biggest reward is that I go to bed at night and fall asleep like a regular person, not needing eight or nine nightly beers to pass out. That’s probably the biggest thing—the simple act of going to sleep naturally feels like a miracle after years of depending on alcohol to shut my brain off.
Advice for Anyone Struggling With Alcohol
If I could tell my old self one thing, it would be this: lose the myth that alcoholism only happens to other people. Drink and have a good time, there’s nothing wrong with that, but keep it in control. Know when to put it down. I didn’t, all while bragging that I would never become an alcoholic. Guess I was wrong! Staying sober with This Naked Mind and other resources has taught me that addiction doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how successful you are, or how convinced you are that you’re different. Alcohol is a drug, and it affects everyone the same way physically. The progression might be different for each person, but the end result is the same if you don’t recognize the warning signs.
Celebrating 10 Years of Freedom
As I reflect on my 10-year sobriety milestone this June, I’m filled with gratitude. Gratitude for the wake-up call, as painful as it was. Gratitude for the medical professionals who saved my life. Gratitude for my family and friends who stood by me. And gratitude for the resources and community that helped me understand my journey and feel less alone. Recovery is possible. Life without alcohol isn’t just possible—it’s better than I ever imagined. If you’re reading this and struggling with alcohol, please know that there’s hope. Whether it takes a health crisis like mine or simply a decision that you’re done living this way, the path to freedom is available to you. You don’t have to wait for rock bottom. You can choose a different life today, and resources like This Naked Mind are here to support you every step of the way.
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