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You are at:Home»Addiction»The Struggle of Overindulgence: Understanding Your Drinking Habits
Addiction

The Struggle of Overindulgence: Understanding Your Drinking Habits

October 19, 2025029 Mins Read
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The Struggle of Overindulgence: Understanding Your Drinking Habits
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Have you ever poured yourself a glass of wine, swearing it would be just one, only to end up finishing the entire bottle hours later? Or maybe you’ve planned a night off from drinking but somehow still ended up with a drink in hand? If you’re wondering, “why am I consuming more than I intended,” know that you’re not on your own—and even more importantly, you’re not at fault.

This habit of drinking more than aimed for is a common indication that alcohol has transitioned from being a casual element in your life. It’s a frustrating pattern that can leave many feeling trapped, embarrassed, and puzzled about the situation.

I’m Annie Grace, the author of This Naked Mind and the host of the This Naked Mind Podcast. For nearly ten years, I was caught in this exact pattern—setting limits I couldn’t uphold, breaking promises to myself, and lying wide awake at night, questioning what was wrong with me. Through my investigation and personal stride toward living alcohol-free, I discovered that this isn’t about lack of willpower or personal flaws. It’s about how alcohol affects your brain and body, making moderation challenging for a large number of people.

TL;DR

  • Overdrinking occurs because alcohol diminishes the section of your brain responsible for making decisions.
  • The question “Am I an alcoholic?” tends to provoke fear and denial rather than fostering sincere self-examination.
  • Alcohol use progresses—drinking habits shift over time as your tolerance increases.
  • You don’t need to reach a “rock bottom” or accept any label to initiate change.
  • The crucial question is: “Is alcohol enhancing or detracting from my life?”

What’s Covered

Why Moderation is Tough for Your Brain

When you take that initial drink, alcohol starts to alter your brain chemistry right away. Research from the Journal of Neuroscience indicates that alcohol prompts the release of dopamine in your brain’s reward area, which brings feelings of pleasure and relaxation.

However, this is where it becomes complicated: alcohol also impairs your prefrontal cortex, the region responsible for decision-making, impulse regulation, and following through on your plans. This is the same part that holds your intention to “just have one.”

Dr. Judson Brewer, a neuroscientist and addiction psychiatrist from Brown University, points out that this creates a perfect storm. The gratification from drinking reinforces the neural pathways linked to drinking, while simultaneously reducing your ability to decline another drink. It’s not about lacking willpower; it’s that alcohol is actively undermining your intentions at a neurological level.

This is also why alcohol consumption progresses. As stated by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, regular alcohol use encourages your brain to adapt by decreasing dopamine receptors and becoming less responsive to alcohol’s effects. You require more alcohol to obtain the same feelings you used to get with less.

When I first began drinking, a single glass of wine was enough. However, over time, one glass became two, then three, and before I knew it, I was regularly finishing bottles without even consciously deciding to do so. The change was so gradual that I hardly noticed it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_XkpqOWLhU

The Issue with Asking “Am I an Alcoholic?”

When you find yourself drinking beyond your plans, the burning question is likely: “Am I an alcoholic?”

This inquiry, though understandable, actually hinders you from seeking the help you need. The term “alcoholic” is heavily loaded. It brings to mind images of rock bottom, job loss, destroyed relationships, and a lifelong, incurable disease. It’s a stark category that implies you’re either in or out—either you’re an alcoholic or you’re totally fine.

Experts in human behavior have largely stepped away from this term. The medical community now refers to “alcohol use disorder,” which exists on a scale and recognizes the progressive nature of alcohol dependency. More significantly, they understand that addiction to alcohol isn’t about some inherent flaw in certain individuals—it’s about what occurs when any person frequently consumes a substance that’s addictive.

The question “Am I an alcoholic?” is so daunting that it actually fosters denial. Instead of genuinely evaluating whether alcohol is having a negative impact on your life, you end up comparing yourself to extreme examples of “alcoholics,” convincing yourself you’re okay because you haven’t lost everything.

I spent almost a decade secretly doubting my drinking habits before finally acknowledging my addiction. I convinced myself that I was fine because I hadn’t been arrested, hadn’t lost my job, and my family was intact. The stigma attached was so frightening that I remained in denial far longer than needed.

Ready to Change the Pattern?

Join The Alcohol Experiment—an entirely free 30-day program designed to help you understand your relationship with alcohol and equip you with the tools for change.

The Alcohol Experiment isn’t about labeling yourself or making lifelong commitments. It’s a 30-day journey of exploration where you’ll receive daily videos, assignments, and support to understand why you end up drinking more than you intended—and how to stop. Over 400,000 people have embarked on this journey.

The Self-Blame Cycle: Breaking Promises to Yourself

If you’re consuming more alcohol than intended, you’re likely spending a lot of mental energy assigning blame to yourself. I would lie awake at night, post-drinking, in sheer agony. “Why did you do that again, Annie? Why can’t you stick to limits?”

I would frequently make promises to myself. Tomorrow I’ll only drink one glass. Tomorrow I’ll take a day off drinking. And then tomorrow would…

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I would often break my commitments. One drink would quickly escalate to an entire bottle or more, leading to another round of shame.

According to Dr. Brené Brown’s research, shame is strongly linked to addiction, depression, and anxiety, whereas self-compassion is associated with recovery and resilience. The reality is, your struggle to moderate your drinking isn’t a deficiency in character; it’s a normal reaction to an addictive substance.

It’s an uncomfortable fact: alcohol is an addictive substance. This isn’t just true for “alcoholics”; it applies to all humans. A detailed study in The Lancet identified alcohol as the most harmful drug overall, even more dangerous than heroin or crack cocaine when considering its impact on both users and others.

We don’t use terms like “cocaineaholic” or “heroinaholic.” Instead, we describe people who develop an addiction to cocaine or heroin. However, with alcohol, we adopt a specific language that obscures its addictive nature and places all the responsibility on the individual.

When you transition from asking, “What’s wrong with me?” to “How is this substance affecting my brain?”, you convert shame into curiosity, which is where real change can happen.

green This Naked Mind graphic - My Moderation Rules (they all failed)
No drinking at home
Weekend drinks only
No drinking my favorites
Just two drinks

You Don’t Need to Hit Rock Bottom to Change

One of the most damaging beliefs tied to the “alcoholic” label is that you must hit rock bottom before addressing your drinking. This mindset keeps countless individuals stuck, waiting for a DUI, a health scare, or a relationship crisis before feeling justified in making a shift.

Personally, I never reached a rock bottom. I enjoyed a successful career and had a loving family. I had never been arrested for drinking and had never missed work because of it. Externally, everything seemed fine, but internally, I was trapped—constantly breaking promises to myself, overwhelmed by shame and self-blame. That internal struggle was my rock bottom.

Recent statistics from the CDC show that alcohol-related deaths are at alarming levels, with the highest toll seen in the last 35 years. We cannot continue to tell individuals to wait for a rock bottom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cvV4o4szEc[/embed>

Research backs early intervention. A study from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism discovered that over a third of those with alcohol dependence made a full recovery when they tackled the issue early on, before facing severe consequences.

We don’t advise individuals with high blood pressure to wait until they have a heart attack. Your drinking should be treated the same way. If you find yourself drinking more than planned, or if alcohol compromises your peace of mind and self-respect, that’s enough.

The Question That Truly Matters

If asking “Am I an alcoholic?” isn’t the right question, what should you ask instead?

The crucial question is: Is alcohol enhancing my life or detracting from it?

This inquiry cuts through fear, shame, and societal stigma. It doesn’t require you to label yourself or compare to others; it simply asks you to be truthful about your relationship with alcohol.

For me, once I was honest with myself, the answer became clear. Alcohol was stripping away my self-respect, peace of mind, quality of sleep, presence with my kids, and overall joy. The fleeting relief I experienced was consistently followed by greater anxiety and shame.

Shifting your focus from “Am I an alcoholic?” to “What is my relationship with alcohol like?” opens the door for genuine self-reflection. You can recognize that alcohol may be an issue for you without adopting a daunting label.

Taking the First Step Forward

If you’re drinking more than intended, the first thing you need to do is to be honest with yourself. Rather than asking “Am I an alcoholic?”, consider “Is my relationship with alcohol healthy?”

Here are some practical initial steps you can take:

  • Honestly track your drinking for a week. Record every drink, the timing, and how you felt the following day.
  • Observe the differences between your intentions and your actions. Take note of how often you plan for one or two drinks but end up having more.
  • Learn how alcohol impacts your brain. My book, This Naked Mind, delves into the science behind the challenges of moderation.
  • Seek out support without judgment from online groups or therapists who specialize in alcohol-related issues.
  • Try a 30-day alcohol-free challenge. Taking a break can provide valuable insights into how alcohol is affecting your sleep, mood, energy, and relationships.

Keep in mind, questioning your drinking doesn’t mean you have to label yourself or commit permanently. It simply shows that you’re paying attention to something affecting your well-being.

Break Free from the Cycle

Are you ready to understand why stopping at just one drink is a challenge and discover how to change that?

The Alcohol Experiment is a complimentary 30-day program designed for those who find themselves drinking more than they wish. You’ll receive daily videos about the science behind your drinking habits, practical exercises, a supportive community, and strategies for handling social settings—free of judgment or labels.

Over 400,000 people have changed their relationship with alcohol through this program. You don’t have to wait for a crisis or identify with any labels. Join them today!


Annie Grace is the author of This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness and The Alcohol Experiment. She hosts the podcast This Naked Mind, helping hundreds of thousands understand and transform their relationship with alcohol through science-based knowledge and compassionate support.

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