You pride yourself on valuing each of your children equally because “that’s what good parents do.” However, after your husband asked you to check out an article titled “Do parents have a favorite child?”, you dismissed it as “absurd.” A new study suggests otherwise.
…children who feel less favored by their parents often struggle with mental health issues and may exhibit challenging behavior both at home and in school.
Having been a parent for 33 years, I’ve always believed I treated my children without bias.
Despite my best intentions, it’s possible that, unconsciously, I may have shown favoritism at times.
If you’re a parent, how do you perceive this idea?
Introduction
During a recent search for insightful content for Chipur, I stumbled upon something interesting.
It was an article on BYU News titled “Do parents really have a favorite child? Here’s what new research says,” published on January 16, 2025, by Abigail Haven.
This piece discussed a study led by Dr. Alex Jensen from the BYU School of Family Life, published in the journal Psychological Bulletin.
Let’s delve into the findings…
Do parents have a favorite child?
Every family has its unique dynamics, shaped by shared experiences, traditions, conflicts, and more.
Within these dynamics often arises the question of favoritism. Factors like birth order, gender, temperament, and shared interests can all contribute to perceptions of favoritism.
Dr. Jensen emphasizes the importance of understanding these findings, identifying patterns in our own homes, and making small adjustments as needed through increased awareness.
Key findings from the study
Now, let’s explore some findings from the research…
- Parents generally show a slight preference for daughters over sons, though this bias is often only recognized by the parents themselves.
- The personalities of children significantly influence parental favoritism; agreeable and responsible kids generally receive more favorable treatment, regardless of gender or birth order.
- Parents often find it easier to bond with one child compared to others.
Do any of these observations resonate with you?
Practical Application
Dr. Jensen stresses the importance of recognizing and understanding how children respond to perceived favoritism.
Watch for signs that indicate a child might feel less favored
This is essential because further research suggests that children who perceive themselves as less favored by their parents are at a higher risk for mental health challenges and may exhibit problematic behaviors in various settings.
He advises parents to stay vigilant for instances that might seem unfair. If overlooked, children will often communicate their feelings. Pay close attention to their signals.
Dr. Jensen reminds us…
Either you’re lacking perspective and understanding, or it’s time for adjustments in your parenting. Remain open to the second possibility.
Wise advice, wouldn’t you agree?
Study Insights
The methodology behind this study is quite fascinating. Dr. Jensen and his team reviewed data from over 19,000 participants, incorporating a diverse range of published and unpublished research.
The goal was to achieve a comprehensive understanding of how parental favoritism is expressed and how it may impact children throughout their lives.
According to Jensen…
Sometimes, in their quest for equality, parents may neglect the unique needs of each child. We’re not implying that parents should feel guilty; rather, this research should serve as motivation for parents to identify areas for improvement without going to extremes.
He hopes this study illuminates family dynamics that are often sensed but rarely discussed candidly.
Favoritism, whether deliberate or not, can affect sibling relations and individual well-being. By recognizing these patterns, parents can enhance familial connections in meaningful ways.
Dr. Jensen further states…
Simple solutions are often the best. Practice patience with yourself and your children. Relationships develop over time and shared experiences can yield numerous positive outcomes.
And that sums it up nicely.
Patterns, Awareness, Home Life, and Adjustments
Strive to treat your children fairly because “that’s what good parents do.” If you haven’t considered favoritism before, don’t be overly concerned. Use this article and Dr. Jensen’s research as guidance and motivation for self-reflection and growth.
Keep in mind: identify patterns, observe what’s happening at home, stay aware, and be open to making adjustments.
To read the original article from BYU News: Do parents really have a favorite child? Here’s what new research says.
If you want to dive deeper into the study, check out: Parents favor daughters: A meta-analysis of gender and other predictors of parental differential treatment.
Explore all the Chipur articles on emotional and mental health by browsing the titles or categories below.
After facing a long-standing struggle with panic disorders, generalized anxiety, mood fluctuations, and dependence on alcohol, Bill discovered his true calling—helping others in similar situations. At 49, he pursued a graduate degree and earned his counseling credentials, continuing his mission through Chipur and other initiatives.