“You can’t stop birds from flying overhead, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair.” ~ Martin Luther
Life occasionally throws us unpleasant and difficult experiences. These challenges arise in various aspects including our jobs, relationships, health, finances, and families. While we can’t always prevent these hardships, there is one thing we can do: accept everything we don’t want.
This may sound contradictory, but it’s effective. By acknowledging that life won’t always align with our desires, we become better at dealing with the unpleasantness, emotional turmoil, and frustrations that everyone faces.
I share your dislike for these challenges. After living for over 70 years, my patience for them has decreased; however, I’ve learned to endure as much as I can. While it’s not enjoyable, situations do change. My role, and perhaps yours, is to seek joy amidst the chaos of an otherwise predictable life.
As my friend Betsy Johnson puts it, sometimes life becomes quite chaotic. I appreciate this phrase as it succinctly indicates that not everything will be pleasant.
Often, when life feels overwhelmingly chaotic for your body, mind, and spirit, allow yourself to be in a bad mood. It won’t last forever. Feel the anger, but don’t direct it at others. Instead, create a safe space to experience your feelings. Embrace anxiety; while it’s uncomfortable and can be frightening, remember it is temporary.
Take a moment to slow down. Don’t pressure yourself to complete everything on your to-do list. The world will continue to move. Giving yourself time to meet what is present can ease the discomfort that comes with feeling less in control. Over time, you can change how you manage inevitable bad moods, negative news, and adverse interactions that are part of even the best lives.
Give yourself permission to rest. This might involve desiring less, working less, simplifying your social interactions, doing household chores less often, preparing simpler meals, or simply daydreaming. It can be beneficial to review your typical day and consider if everything you engage with is genuinely necessary—excluding the enjoyable or fulfilling activities.
Life will unfold as it does, regardless of our preferences, and we will navigate through everything, even when feeling tense, anxious, angry, or frustrated. It’s noteworthy that we have managed to get through all our experiences thus far. You don’t need to maintain a positive attitude through all of it. If you’re no longer in school, the only person grading you is yourself, which leads to another point: self-compassion can significantly assist in grounding you in the moment, no matter its nature.
Foster curiosity. A willingness to explore and try even small changes can greatly benefit your emotional well-being.
Curiosity and experimentation can bring joy into your life. What new pleasure can you uncover? How can you savor experiences such as food, music, nature, movement, enjoyable company, a book, TV, or anything else that excites your senses? How much can you appreciate just being? I recognize this is challenging in a society that prioritizes constant doing. You might want to experiment with activities like cloud watching, soaking in a calming Epsom salt bath, or truly tasting the food you eat.
If you pay close attention, even the most predictable life presents a series of highs and lows, both internally and externally. Accepting these fluctuations can be difficult. While we may often react impulsively and not gracefully, finding joy in as many things as possible not only balances the ups and downs of life but also prepares you for tougher moments.
If it offers you comfort, remember: none of us come with an instruction manual. Navigating life in our human bodies, engaging with various people (each with their own worlds), and facing unpredictable challenges—especially in a technologically advanced age inundated with information and choices—can be daunting.
Simply allow yourself to rest. Being human is a tough job. Seek out joy. Infuse your daily life with meaning, whether it’s achieving a simple chore like cleaning the kitchen, or performing complex tasks like surgery. All experiences hold value, and any endeavor can be meaningful, depending on your perspective.
Keep in mind: everyone is just managing as best they can, regardless of appearances. You are living on a spinning blue planet amidst trillions of galaxies, surrounded by eight billion other individuals. How could that not be difficult?
Starting today, give yourself a break, take things slow, and relish whatever brings you happiness.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.