“What is the most meaningful way to spend each day of our lives?” – Pema Chödrön
This might seem like a tough or even impossible question to tackle. There are countless activities we could engage in, but what truly represents the most meaningful use of our time?
You might ponder this as you lie in bed, struggling to recall how you spent your day.
Where did the time slip away to? Did I accomplish anything of significance? Am I stuck in a cycle of repeating the same day?
I find myself questioning these things once I’ve completed my tasks. During those quiet moments, my thoughts begin to drift.
Why does this happen? Because in moments of stillness, our mind’s automatic function can finally turn off.
When this automatic mode is paused, we realize that we are not being deliberate with our actions or how we spend our time.
Chödrön notes that we often wrap ourselves in a “cocoon” of routine—ensnared in worry and our own thoughts.
Even after undergoing significant changes in life, we tend to revert back to our usual habits and behaviors.
The issue isn’t that we are reliving the same day over and over, despite how drab that may seem. The real issue lies in the habitual nature of our minds. This habitual mindset confines us to our comfort zones, causing each day to feel remarkably similar to the last.
By disrupting these habitual patterns, we can gradually break free from them and start uncovering meaning in each day.
Let’s explore how taking mindful pauses can assist us in escaping the rush of life’s automatic routine.
Understanding the habitual mind (and life)
How much of our time do we waste on overanalyzing situations?
How often do we find ourselves trapped in the same loop of thoughts day after day?
Within this mental cocoon, I frequently ruminate on the question, “Am I making the right choices in my life?”
It’s easy to get caught up in these repetitive questions without finding clarity for weeks or even months.
Heidi Priebe shared a thought-provoking tweet: “There’s no such thing as overthinking. There’s only poor thinking.”
Poor thinking may refer to our tendency to fixate on issues that:
- lack a concrete answer
- have an answer that doesn’t align with our preferences
- have an answer, but we lack the information needed to make a decision.
Suppose I become aware of my tendency to cycle through the same thought.
This awareness is a good starting point, but soon another thought pattern surfaces.
Now, I’m left questioning, “Why do I constantly feel like there’s something amiss in my life or with myself?”
Part of the issue with our “cocoons” may be our tendency to dive too deeply into a singular perspective.
The world around us is vibrant and continuously evolving, but we often miss it because we’re trapped in repetitive thinking. Sometimes, all we need is a fresh perspective to uncover possibilities we hadn’t considered.
Chödrön suggests, “Let go of the narrative you are striving to uphold.”
This means releasing the notion of how you believe things ought to be and simply allowing yourself to be.
Read Next: Discovering Significance by Labeling Ourselves
The significance of a pause
To break free from our cocoons, we should focus on creating mindful pauses in our everyday routines.
According to Chödrön, a gap is a moment to intentionally breathe. You just need to take three deep breaths. Although this may sound simple, remembering to do it can be challenging.
By pausing, we disrupt our habitual thinking and actions. When we disengage from autopilot, it can no longer guide us.
“Habits are powerful. It takes discipline to step outside our cocoon and embrace the wonders around us. The practice of taking three mindful breaths whenever we feel stuck is a simple yet transformative act available to us at all times.” – Pema Chödrön
Think of mindful pauses as adding punctuation to your day. Throughout the day, you might need a comma to catch your breath. At day’s end, a period can help you conclude that day as if it were a sentence, paragraph, or chapter ( it’s up to you to determine which one you’re in at the moment).
We require moments of breathing space in our lives, even if we feel obligated to stay busy.
The more we practice pausing and being aware, the less likely we are to overthink or feel like we are reliving the same day continuously.
Read Next: Ease Your Mind by Closing Open Loops
3 methods for taking a mindful pause
Here are some practical ideas for incorporating a mindful pause into your everyday life:
1. Breathe three times
Chödrön advocates for this pause technique: take three deliberate breaths anytime you feel stuck.
If you notice yourself stuck in repetitive thoughts, or if you’re uncertain about what to do next, simply take three deep breaths.
When shifting from one task to another at work, remember to breathe deeply three times. This will help interrupt the automatic mindset that distracts us from our current moment.
2. Establish a wind-down routine
Our days can often blur together when we engage in the same activities without purpose, especially when our work and personal life boundaries aren’t clear.
To combat this monotony, consider creating a wind-down routine that you view as a purposeful pause at the day’s end. Corey McComb refers to this as an “aperitif” to mark the conclusion of your day.
Engaging in a specific activity or a mix of activities (like enjoying your favorite music while preparing dinner) can signal to your brain that it’s time to unwind and break the cycle of work-related concerns.
3. Plan (and cherish) things to look forward to
The trend of romanticizing life encourages us to find joy in the ordinary and transform it into something special.
A great way to do this is by identifying three things you would be excited to do the next day. Each night before you sleep, write down three activities you can look forward to when the morning comes.
These can be small joys like chatting with a friend, listening to a favorite playlist, or treating yourself to a dessert from a bakery. This approach can help disrupt the habitual mindset and usher you out of your cocoon.
How can you incorporate a mindful pause today?
By intentionally pausing in our routines, we can challenge our automatic tendencies and start living more deliberately. The more we embrace these pauses, the greater our capacity for enjoyment.