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Authored by Samuel Olagbenjo
Dear women,
To create a flourishing marriage, it’s essential to understand what brings your husband closer and what might push him away without you even realizing it.
In my experience as a marriage therapist, I’ve seen many men emotionally distance themselves from their wives, not because their love has faded, but due to ongoing behaviors that leave them feeling unappreciated or disrespected.
Let’s be candid about this.
Here are 10 things women often do in marriage that many men dislike — and tips on how to avoid them.
1. 📍Lack of Respect in Communication
Men seek respect similarly to how women seek love. Speaking to him condescendingly, interrupting him in public, or ridiculing his decisions can hurt his spirit. Even in disagreement, approach the subject respectfully.
💡Consider this: Communicate with him as you would like him to communicate with you. Respect fosters trust and safety.
2. 📍Failing to Appreciate Him
When you overlook the small gestures he makes, he starts to feel insignificant. Every man desires to be acknowledged and valued — not just during major accomplishments.
💡Try this: Express gratitude for minor efforts. Praise him for attempting, not just succeeding.
3. 📍Continuous Complaining Without Solutions
No one wants to feel like they never do anything right. If your feedback is always critical and not constructive, he may emotionally disconnect from you.
💡Try this: Calmly voice your concerns and propose ideas. Encourage progress rather than seeking perfection.
4. 📍Comparing Him to Others
Saying something like, “Look at what my friend’s husband did,” might seem innocent, but it may communicate to him that “you’re not enough,” which can harm his self-esteem.
💡Try this: Acknowledge his uniqueness. Focus on his positive attributes rather than someone else’s accomplishments.
5. 📍Negative Attitude Towards His Mother
Even if his mother can be challenging, criticizing her directly puts him in a difficult position. Men often feel torn between loyalty to their wives and love for their mothers.
💡Try this: Establish respectful boundaries. Express concerns without insulting her.
6. 📍Using Emotional Manipulation
Employing silence, tears, or guilt for your advantage may yield short-term results but will erode deep, lasting intimacy. Manipulation isn’t love; it’s emotional control.
💡Try this: Be forthright with your feelings. Avoid mind games and communicate maturely.
7. 📍Excessive Nagging
Repeating the same complaints harshly will only push your husband away or make him defensive. Nagging seldom results in change; it breeds resentment.
💡Try this: Choose a calm setting. Clearly state your needs once or twice. Then give him room to breathe.
8. 📍Making Him Feel Unneeded
When you constantly take charge as if he isn’t needed, he might feel diminished. Men want to feel necessary — not sidelined.
💡Try this: Invite his opinions. Acknowledge his role, even in minor decisions.
9. 📍Lack of Emotional Support
Men often have emotional needs too, even if they don’t always show it. If you seem cold or uncaring about his struggles, he might emotionally shut down.
💡Try this: Inquire about his true feelings. Be his refuge, not a source of stress.
10. 📍Disregarding His Love Language
Just because you appreciate gifts or attention doesn’t mean those are the ways he feels loved. Discover how he expresses love — and offer it generously.
💡Try this: Observe him carefully. If he values words, encourage him. If he appreciates touch, give it. Speak his love language with intention.
Final Thoughts:
Men don’t seek perfection — they desire peace, respect, and a safe outlet for vulnerability.
Instead of tearing him down, focus on uplifting him. You’re not merely his partner; you’re his teammate, crown, and closest ally.
💖 Let your love elevate him. Allow your words to heal him. Inspire him with your presence.
May you thrive in your marriage, in Jesus name.
Please share this message with those dear to you.
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