When I began composing this article back in March, my mind was consumed with the logistics of relocating to a different state.
There were numerous administrative tasks to address, including shutting down and starting new bank accounts, finding health insurance, and obtaining a new driver’s license.
While I know there are more significant stressors in the world, I was eager to wrap up these chores to regain a sense of ‘normalcy’ in my life.
Now that these tasks are behind me (as of September), they seem like just a fleeting moment in my memory.
Closing my bank account and securing my driver’s license weren’t as daunting as I had anticipated. Previously, I found these tasks stressful, so I assumed they’d be challenging again this time around.
But now that it’s all settled, I find myself in a period of calm. There’s nothing left to figure out. While it feels refreshing to take a deep breath, I often wonder why everything feels so quiet.
What should my next steps be? Why am I unable to let myself enjoy this stillness?
These thoughts have led me to reflect on the ups and downs of life and how being present during difficult moments can foster resilience.
The Ups and Downs of Life
As human beings, we often find ourselves looking forward to the next thrilling event – a vacation, a new romance, or an exciting occasion.
Alternatively, we may be yearning for a period of less stress in our lives.
During times of overwhelm, we eagerly anticipate the end. Yet, once the chaos subsides, we feel compelled to seek out something more stimulating.
The in-between moments can feel quite unsettling.
Personally, when things are not stressful or busy, I tend to question the very essence of life. It feels as though having chaos gives my mind something to focus on, even though I can’t fully engage because I want the chaos to end.
It tends to create a never-ending cycle.
Sure, TikTok psychologists might love to explore this as a childhood response, but I can’t help but think many of us experience this.
Perhaps you too feel that your life is a continuous series of highs and lows, or you struggle to navigate life’s quiet moments.
The challenge lies in how we can accept the rhythms of life and understand that experiencing both highs and lows is a natural part of being human.
Navigating Stressful Times
For much of my life, I’ve been waiting for intense stress to pass so I can return to ‘normal.’ I once held a naive notion that I could eliminate stress completely by exerting enough effort.
I thought there had to be a formula to prevent minor annoyances from getting to me, especially since others seemed unaffected by the same challenges. These issues would consume my thoughts, and I felt I couldn’t enjoy life until the stressful periods were over.
I believed that if I could create the perfect routine and stick to it religiously, stress would keep its distance. If I practiced meditation or journaling enough, perhaps I could become resilient enough to let stressful situations slip by unnoticed.
While these practices can be beneficial, they won’t stop stress from entering our lives. Something else will always arise to disrupt our peace.
This leads me to think we should abandon the belief that life will someday be completely free of stress. Or that if we push hard enough, we will develop the strength to sidestep anything that threatens to derail us.
True resilience is not measured by our physical or emotional strength but by our ability to adapt and recover after facing challenges.
If we know stressful times will arise, we must strive to remain present during those phases and uncover ways to find joy even in tough circumstances.
This is where practices like journaling and meditation come in handy. They may not prevent problems from occurring, but they create space for us to be present and confront our challenges directly.
“You will always have problems. Learn how to enjoy life while you’re solving them.” – Craig Carlson
Navigating Quiet Moments
It may also serve us well to release the idea that life must always be exciting and enjoyable.
It can be difficult to watch others on social media living what appears to be their ‘best lives,’ yet those images may not reflect reality; they might be curating these experiences for attention or perpetually chasing highs that remain elusive. We often lack insight into others’ true circumstances without their candid openness.
So when life settles down, can we simply embrace that quietness without feeling compelled to create more excitement? Can we discover ways to relish life regardless of our circumstances?
Just as with stressful times, the real test lies in accepting quiet moments as opportunities for mindfulness and appreciation rather than something to escape.
Caroline Myss notes that we commonly express gratitude when things are favorable, but “it’s not our practice to get up and just be thankful for the gift of life in itself.”
This serves as a reminder to cultivate gratitude for moments spent just being, not solely during times of triumph.
Maximizing the In-Between Times
To truly embrace the ebb and flow of life, it’s essential to be present in both the highs and the lows.
When we try to rush through or force experiences, whether by pushing to finish tasks or seeking new thrills, we overlook the genuine experience of living.
During tough times, take a moment to jot down what you’re feeling, bake cookies you love, reach out to a friend, or dive into a light-hearted book instead of thinking, ‘I’ll handle all that once the stress passes.’
When life is calm, continue this practice. Keep seeking small joys in every moment.
Though we may not control outcomes, we can find pleasure in the journey.
And remember, very few aspects of life are permanent. Whatever challenge you’re facing, it will eventually change.
“Instead of waiting for the next event to fill your time, why not make the quieter moments count? Whether it’s learning something new, reconnecting with an old friend or relative, picking up a hobby, or simply enjoying your own company, treat it as an opportunity for mindfulness.” – Amaan Akhtar
How do you handle life’s ups and downs?
Life will perpetually go through cycles of highs and lows. By staying engaged during challenging moments, you can develop greater resilience than if you were to simply avoid these experiences. There’s no need to rush anything.