What does suffering mean to you?
You might think of the sorrow that comes with losing a loved one or the physical ache from an injury.
But have you considered how we endure suffering from the intricacies of our contemporary lives?
Buddhist monk Nick Keomahavong suggests that one significant reason we suffer today is due to the overwhelming complexity of our lives.
Nowadays, we face numerous challenges just to maintain essential aspects of our existence. Tasks like finding a new healthcare provider, calculating our tax obligations, or attempting to get through to the DMV can feel overly complicated.
This situation leads me to question why we accept such complexities. Is there any way to simplify our lives?
What makes life so complicated?
From the illusion of simplicity to the quest for personal optimization, here are several factors contributing to life’s complexity:
Factor 1: The illusion of simplicity
How often have you purchased a product that promised to simplify your life, only to let it gather dust on a shelf?
You might have fallen for slogans like:
“This cream will enhance your skin in just 7 days.”
“This book will completely transform your life.”
“This water bottle is superior to all others.”
We acquire many items that profess to streamline our existence, yet managing these possessions often complicates our lives further.
Moreover, faced with an abundance of choices, we may fall into a pattern of indecision. For instance, while an electric kettle might simplify your routine, choosing one from a hundred different models becomes a daunting task.
To escape the illusion of simplicity, it’s crucial to be more conscious of what we consume, buy, listen to, and engage with.
Regrettably, our modern society makes this challenging. We constantly need to *evaluate* our consumption, leading to my next point.
Factor 2: The mental burden
Author Karla Starr discusses the unique challenges of contemporary living that render our lives more burdensome. She explains:
“What’s messy, tiring, and exhausting isn’t just work; it’s home management, paying bills, grocery shopping… It encompasses climate change impacts, dealing with cancelled trips due to hurricanes, remembering reusable bags, being shocked by high grocery prices, misplacing shopping cards, overseeing parental controls on devices, and deciphering conflicting nutritional research about what we eat.”
The mental burden refers to the cognitive work we engage in daily to keep our lives in order. It typically describes the mental effort of home management, a weight that often disproportionately falls on women.
This mental load includes juggling to-do lists in your mind, writing them down, and completing tasks from those lists — all while managing additional lists simultaneously.
We all navigate some form of this cognitive strain, and it can be draining since it feels never-ending. You may use up your mental energy on *planning* before you even get to the action phase.
So how can we address this?
Some may suggest systematizing our lives for simplicity. An example is Tiago Forte’s Second Brain concept, which advocates for offloading everything in our heads to a digital repository.
While this can be beneficial, it adds another layer of complexity. Shouldn’t our minds be capable of managing things independently? Or could it be a signal that our lives are indeed too complicated?
Factor 3: The optimization of human experiences
On the subject of systematization, we’re also pressured to optimize every facet of our existence.
Writer Anne Helen Petersen remarks:
“Household responsibilities are now expected to fulfill an endless array of aspirational standards: outings must be ‘experiences,’ meals should be nutritious, homemade, and fun, bodies must be toned, wrinkles should be minimized, clothing should be stylish, sleep needs regulation, and relationships must be cultivated, with the news actively consumed and analyzed.”
There’s a pervasive notion that everything “should” be at its best, or we’re not fully enjoying life.
You might be familiar with the term ‘biohacking,’ which involves employing methods like light therapy, supplements, or fitness trackers to enhance physical and mental performance. Instead of soaking up natural sunlight, you might resort to using a lightbox.
As we attempt to enhance our existence, we’re often confronted with contradictory advice. One health professional claims bananas are beneficial, while another suggests they can harm your metabolism. This conflicting information only adds to life’s complexity.
The core issue with striving to enhance human experiences is the implication that we need instant solutions to all our problems.
But should our aim really be to live without problems? What if we could embrace and relish life without needing to overhaul every facet of it?
Perhaps this perspective would prevent us from accumulating excessive items, overwhelming our minds, and feeling guilty for not having ‘perfect’ lives.
Ways to simplify life
If our suffering stems from life’s complexities, how can we simplify it a bit? Here are some strategies to lessen the stress you might be facing:
Let go instead of collecting.
Society often advises us to chase what we desire relentlessly, but there are numerous advantages to decluttering.
To achieve what you want, you must create space for it in your life. This might include letting go of things you assumed were essential.
Beginning with physical items is a good start, but decluttering your mental and emotional space (through practices like meditation, therapy, or journaling) is equally important.
Read next: How to Let Go of What Doesn’t Benefit You
Resolve unfinished business.
An open loop refers to unresolved commitments — situations where you’re aware of tasks that need attention yet allow them to linger in your thoughts. Closing these loops can lower your mental burden, and I’ve elaborated on this concept in a previous post if you wish to explore further.
To finish open loops, start by identifying one task occupying your mind. Is there something that’s weighing you down mentally, physically, or emotionally? Determine whether you can eliminate it from your thoughts or take action to address it within the next 24 hours.
Unplug from the online world.
The digital world and social media significantly contribute to the complexity of our lives. While they offer various advantages, they can also be addictive and distract us with the thoughts and opinions of others.
Regularly reconnect with yourself to avoid getting lost in a false reality. Embrace moments of silence, go offline for a day each week, or pick up a new hobby that doesn’t involve screen time.
Focus on ease.
Life will always be complicated, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find ease in certain areas. If you can pinpoint just one thing that feels effortless in your life, take a moment to appreciate it.
You may be thankful for things that come easily, effortless relationships, or the consistent warmth of the sun that shines without any effort on your part.
What single change could simplify your life?
I hope this article provides comfort regarding the challenges of modern life. We tend to blame ourselves for not being able to “keep pace,” yet our world isn’t designed for simplicity.
Keep in mind that not every problem requires an immediate solution. The aim isn’t to live a problem-free life but to discover ways to savor life despite the challenges.