Do You Overthink?
Do you ever feel like your mind just won’t switch off? It keeps going round and round and especially when you’re feeling anxious about something.
You replay conversations. You imagine worst-case scenarios. You go over and question your decisions again and again.
And the more you think… the worse you feel.
If this sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone. Overthinking happens to us all.
It’s a pattern our minds learned for trying to keep us safe.
The good news? You can gently teach your mind a new way.
Why We Overthink in the First Place
Overthinking is usually your brain’s attempt to keep you ‘safe’ and to do this it feels the need to help you:
We are all ‘wired’ this way. Your mind’s number one job is survival!
Your mind believes: “If I think about this enough, I can stop something bad from happening.”
But often your mind is linking current or future situations to past outdated ones or even fears that are no longer relevant for your life today. And instead of solving the problem, overthinking often creates anxiety, self-doubt and emotional exhaustion.
It pulls you out of the present moment and into an imagined future that will most likely never happen.
The Overthinking Loop
Here’s how it usually works:
Thought → Feeling → More Thoughts → Stronger Feelings → Even More Thoughts
Example: “What if I said the wrong thing?” Leads to embarrassment → replaying the conversation → “They probably think I’m stupid” → more anxiety.
And round and round you go.
To stop overthinking, we don’t try to force the thoughts away.
We gently interrupt the loop.
A Simple Tool: Accurate Thinking
One of the most powerful ways to interrupt overthinking is something I call accurate thinking. It’s not about pretending everything is fine or forcing positive thoughts. It’s about helping your mind come back to what is actually true right now.
Step 1: Notice the Thought Loop
Simply become aware: “I’m stuck in overthinking.”
This small moment of awareness already begins to shift you out of autopilot.
Don’t argue with the thoughts. Just pause.
Step 3: Take 3 Slow, Deep Breaths
In through your nose… out through your mouth. Long, slow exhales are especially calming.
This is where the science kicks in.
Even 1-2 minutes of deep breathing helps settle the nervous system, reducing activity in the sympathetic nervous system (your fight-or-flight response) and activating the parasympathetic nervous system (your rest-and-digest, calm state).
Usually, when one is activated, the other is dialled down. So as your body begins to calm, your mind can too.
Step 4: Ask Yourself One Question
“Am I safe right now?”
Not “Will I be okay next week?” Not “What if this goes wrong?”
Just: Right now. In this moment. Am I safe?
Most of the time, the honest answer is: Yes. I am safe.
What’s Happening in Your Brain
When you’re overthinking and anxious, the amygdala — the part of the brain that detects threat — is highly active. It’s scanning for danger and triggering emotional and fight-or-flight responses, even if the “danger” is just a thought about the future.
At the same time, the more logical, rational part of your brain — the prefrontal cortex — becomes less active. That’s the part responsible for reasoning, perspective, logical thinking and calming reassurance.
When you pause, breathe deeply and ask “Am I safe right now?” you help calm the nervous system. This reduces amygdala activity and allows the prefrontal cortex to come back online.
In simple terms: You move from survival mode… back into thinking mode.
Calm the Body First, Then the Mind Follows
This is why trying to “think your way out” of overthinking often doesn’t work. If your nervous system still feels under threat, your brain will keep producing anxious thoughts.
This is what we call a ‘bottom-up’ method (using the body to calm the mind) rather than a ‘top-down’ method, which is using thinking to calm the system.
This ‘bottom-up’ way works like this: Calm the body → signal safety → activate the parasympathetic nervous system → reduce fight-or-flight → bring the rational brain back into action.
Then your thoughts naturally become clearer and less dramatic.
Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Care About
And another step to add to this accurate thinking technique is to watch how you talk to yourself, (the thoughts you think) and to shift this to something more helpful.
Once you’re calmer, notice your inner voice.
Overthinkers are often incredibly hard on themselves:
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“It’s okay to feel anxious.”
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“I’m safe right now.”
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“I can handle this step by step.”
Self-compassion further reduces the brain’s threat response and supports emotional regulation.
And You Don’t Have to Believe Every Thought You Think….
When you notice your thoughts and take a pause you can imagine them as separate to you, instead of feeling ‘enmeshed’ with them.
Imagine looking at them from a separate space, a bit like looking at a tree in the park. The tree is a separate entity. This is a helpful way to view your thoughts too.
Because a thought or fear is not a fact. Just as an anxious mind is not always a truthful one.
Overthinking is a habit your mind learned — and accurate thinking is a gentle way to teach it something new.
Each time you notice the loop, pause, breathe and ask: “Am I safe right now?” you are rewiring your response from fear… to calm, from panic… to a more balanced (and often more real) perspective.
And that’s where real change begins.