Kari’s Journey to Embracing Life Sober

Have you ever found yourself using alcohol to dull your emotions, thinking it’s the only way to cope? For Kari, drinking wasn’t merely a social activity; it was a barrier against emotional suffering, loss, and heartbreak. Her journey, from carefree childhood memories full of laughter and drinks to enduring a painful marriage and profound personal challenges, illustrates how easily one can slip into drinking as a means of escape. However, it also highlights the powerful change that can occur when you decide to confront life and your emotions directly.

Trigger Warning: This article includes references to domestic violence, suicide, and addiction that may be upsetting to some readers.

My Initial Views on Alcohol

During my upbringing, alcohol was a common element. My parents consumed it regularly, seemingly relying on it to enjoy social occasions, whether casual get-togethers or major celebrations. This frequent exposure molded my early perceptions—alcohol was synonymous with fun, relaxation, and social interaction. It felt like a universal experience, and I never questioned its role. This belief was so entrenched that I assumed my relationship with alcohol would remain just like what I observed around me—casual and manageable. I genuinely felt in control, as did they, until I lost that control.

The Turning Point and the Desire to Escape

As I matured and began to understand the impact of alcohol in my life, my feelings towards it grew negative. I found myself disliking it immensely. Ironically, I was always the one who confidently proclaimed I would never develop a drinking problem. It seems almost laughable now, considering how my life turned out. Everything shifted dramatically after a shocking event. A surgery that accelerated the way alcohol affected me paired with a troubled marriage created a volatile situation. I was ill-equipped to deal with the emotional fallout from it all. The pain was suffocating, and instinctively I sought the fastest escape I knew: drinking. It transformed from a source of enjoyment to a way to silence my mind, to avoid feeling the unbearable heaviness of my circumstances. I tried countless times to cut back, to limit myself to just two drinks or to drink only on weekends. It was exhausting.

The Descent into Problematic Drinking

The actual turning point occurred during my marriage to my ex-husband, marked by physical and psychological abuse. I felt trapped, as if escape was impossible. Eventually, a fierce argument resulted in his arrest for domestic violence, sparking a chain of life-altering events. He lost his CEO job, and quickly my life felt like a scary drama. It reached a peak when he attempted suicide and was shot by police, eventually serving two years in prison. Amid this chaos, my drinking intensified. It became the one constant in my life, something I believed would alleviate the constant stress and anguish. The urge to numb everything overtook any previous convictions I had about alcohol. I amassed countless regrets—scary blackouts and lost memories. The painful impact on my relationships with my children, family, and friends still haunts me.

Your Journey Begins Here

Kari found her breakthrough with The Path. Allow the blend of science and empathy within The Path to guide you in understanding why emotional transformation can change everything. Now, Kari no longer drinks to escape her feelings; she has embraced the desire to experience them. You can embark on this same transformation in your life through The Path!

Struggles and Fresh Starts

Over the years, I attempted various methods…
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I tried numerous strategies to manage my drinking, experimenting with moderation by establishing strict guidelines about when and how much I would consume. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and Celebrate Recovery programs, earnestly searching for a way out. I even completed outpatient rehab. Yet, despite my efforts, quitting proved elusive. Deep down, I suspect a part of me wasn’t ready to let go, or maybe I doubted my ability to succeed. Eventually, I came to terms with the fact that the motivation to change had to originate from me. I needed to genuinely desire to stop using alcohol to numb my persistent emotional pain. Equally important, I needed someone who believed in my potential, especially during my moments of self-doubt. That’s when I discovered Annie Grace’s programs. Engaging with This Naked Mind’s literature, participating in The Alcohol Experiment and The PATH, tuning into virtual events, and listening to the podcast profoundly transformed my life.

A Year of Healing and Change

It felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I started to shed the deep-rooted shame and guilt that had been driving my drinking habits. The programs encouraged me to reassess and alter the negative narratives I had maintained in my mind for years, forging new neural connections. Beyond just the resources, I found an amazing support system within the community. Additionally, my coach and dear friend, Bill Masters, provided unwavering support throughout my journey. I’ll always remember the moment he told me, “Kari, you’re a God damn queen! Start acting like it.” Something shifted within me that day. I was finished with the self-sabotage and limiting beliefs. I’m not a victim, I’m a queen!

This past year has certainly been one of the most difficult yet rewarding periods of my life. I can hardly believe I’m penning these words—I never envisioned reaching this point. My mother faced critical health challenges, and I am endlessly thankful that she is still with us. I also endured a painful breakup after my drinking derailed a relationship I thought would last forever. In addition, I navigated a tumultuous array of challenges—moving, adapting to an empty nest, having to rehome my beloved dogs, attending funerals, and celebrating weddings. Honestly, if I can endure all of that this year without resorting to alcohol, I genuinely believe I can tackle anything life throws my way.

Embracing a Sober Life

I spent this year primarily on my own, which turned out to be exactly what I needed. I invested time in myself, engaged in the challenging process of self-reflection and healing, and uncovered a deeper understanding of who I really am. Today, I can confidently say that it has been 365 days since I chose to live without alcohol. My children, family, and friends are proud of my journey. Now, it’s time to release the past and allow myself to feel pride in my achievements as well.

My lifestyle has seen significant changes. I no longer go out as frequently. My friendships remain intact, even though I don’t drink or party with them anymore. Late nights have been replaced with earlier bedtimes and mornings. Believe it or not, I’ve become a morning person! I treasure the peaceful moments spent watching the sunrise with my coffee. I’ve rekindled my passion for reading and listening to audiobooks and podcasts. Exercising has become a fixture in my daily routine, and I genuinely enjoy serene evenings at home. I find satisfaction in praying more and attending church more often, which has enriched my connections.

Lessons Learned and Gratitude

I have also become more selective about how I allocate my time, choosing not to waste energy on superficial relationships. I no longer seek validation from others. I’ve learned to safeguard my boundaries. This is my authentic self! If you don’t appreciate the sober me, that’s perfectly okay. The people-pleaser in me no longer feels compelled to win everyone’s approval. I am satisfactory just as I am!

This past year offered profound lessons: Your family will support you through almost anything. Alcohol may provide a temporary and artificial happiness. Allowing my emotions to surface is far easier than attempting to numb them. Being sober has enabled me to scrutinize my thoughts. Alcohol contributes to, and worsens, feelings of depression and anxiety. Experiencing boredom isn’t inherently negative. I no longer miss those 3:33 AM wake-up calls laden with overwhelming anxiety. I am enough! Practicing gratitude can change your life. Surrender it to God. Lastly, connection stands in stark contrast to addiction. My deepest gratitude goes to my brother, who has been there for me through both the highs and lows this year, celebrating my successes and uplifting me during my struggles. He ensured I didn’t stay down for too long.

Let’s Get This One Thing Straight

Let me clarify something. I am not opposed to alcohol. In reality, I recognize that I could consume as much as I wish, whenever I wish. However, I haven’t felt the desire to do so for the past 365 days, nor do I feel that way today, and likely not tomorrow either. Many of my friends, family members, and even my kids continue to drink, and I am perfectly comfortable with that. Alcohol is not inherently destructive unless you allow it to be. I wish I could have advised my past self: You will be okay. Even if it means hitting rock bottom a few times. Trust in yourself. Love yourself just as much as you love others.

Share Your Story

If you stopped drinking to escape your feelings using our books, the app, the podcasts, or any other program from This Naked Mind, we invite you to share your journey here to inspire others!

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