The Real Story Behind Confidence!
Have you ever hesitated to take action due to a lack of confidence? Perhaps you wished to pursue a new hobby, voice your thoughts in a meeting, or ask someone out on a date, but you found yourself waiting for that confidence to kick in.
Here’s something to consider: confidence follows action, rather than precedes it.
In The Confidence Gap, Dr. Russ Harris highlights that many individuals mistakenly wait to feel confident before they act. However, this is the incorrect approach. Confidence develops through action, not through waiting. With each step you take, confidence becomes more instinctual—eventually, it becomes second nature.
Confidence is a Feeling, Not a Fixed Quality
Many think of confidence as something you either possess or lack. In reality, confidence is simply an emotion—like any emotion, it can be accessed when needed.
Reflect on moments when you naturally exude confidence—perhaps when preparing a favorite dish, driving, or engaging in conversation with friends. During those times, confidence isn’t something you “own”—it’s a feeling you experience. It’s a comfortable state where everything flows smoothly, and you have full faith in your capabilities.
As I’ve noted, that natural ease comes after practicing a task multiple times. To build the confidence you desire, you need to act even before feeling completely prepared. The gap discussed by Russ Harris in his book represents that uncomfortable period of venturing into the unknown—the phase where you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone before feeling fully equipped and eventually becoming proficient.
In this blog, I aim to assist you in taking that leap, as this is essential for boosting your confidence in pursuing new endeavors.
Since confidence is an emotion you can summon as needed, you can purposefully generate some confidence when entering uncharted territory. This proactive approach will encourage you to continue taking action until you achieve mastery and realize you can excel.
Here are three straightforward methods to increase your confidence:
1. Picture Yourself Succeeding
Your brain reacts to mental images nearly as effectively as real-life situations. Prior to facing a challenge, close your eyes and visualize your success. Imagine walking into that space, delivering your presentation, or having a conversation fluidly. Feel that confidence radiate through you. Athletes utilize this method to enhance performance—so why not incorporate it into your daily life?
2. Transfer Confidence Across Different Areas of Life
Recall an activity where you feel inherently confident. It might be offering advice to pals, dancing, or being organized. Now, envision channeling that same vibe into the area where you require more confidence. If confidence thrives in one aspect of your life, it can surely thrive in another. It’s all about shifting your mindset.
3. Recognize That Nobody Feels Completely Prepared
Perfection is unattainable. No one begins as a pro. Every confident individual you admire once experienced doubt and discomfort. The distinction? They took action in spite of it. Progress occurs only by stepping out of your comfort zone.
As John A. Shedd stated: “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
The next time you find yourself thinking, I’ll do it once I feel ready, change your approach. Take that initial step now, and confidence will follow suit.
As Mark Twain insightfully remarked:“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.”
Confidence isn’t something to sit around and wait for. It’s something you actively cultivate. The more you practice accessing it, the easier it becomes.
With continued practice of what makes you anxious, the fear subsides and is replaced by a sense of natural confidence.
I challenge you! Identify one action you can take today—even if you don’t feel prepared. Step outside your comfort zone in this area and make that small move today. I assure you, it won’t be as daunting as you anticipate. The best way to build your confidence is to, as Nike puts it, just do it!