While many people are looking forward to a joyful holiday season, others are apprehensive about the political discussions that often arise during family gatherings. As a practicing psychotherapist, I frequently encounter inquiries about how to enjoy these traditional family reunions while steering clear of potentially explosive topics that could ruin the festive atmosphere and damage relationships.
First, it’s important to recognize that this time of year can already be challenging for many individuals. Feelings of loneliness or grief related to a lost loved one can feel particularly heavy during the holidays. Additionally, returning to one’s family of origin can create tension due to unresolved conflicts or difficult relationship dynamics. This is a yearly concern in my work, irrespective of the political landscape; clients often seek advice on establishing boundaries or even considering how to exit such gatherings gracefully. With the heightened polarization in political views in recent times, the likelihood of tense and uncomfortable dinner conversations is significant.
The emotional landscape post-election.
Your feelings about the election results may range from excitement to anxiety, or somewhere in between. Issues arise when those with vastly different opinions come together. Strong emotions might lead to a desire for discussion, which, among those who agree, could unfold smoothly. However, among those with conflicting viewpoints, such discussions can lead to intense confrontations that escalate quickly. Many of my clients are not alone in their concerns; this tension seems to resonate nationwide.
A recent article from the New York Post highlights that the aftermath of election results is making family gatherings more challenging this year. According to a survey conducted by Future Partners, a tourism market research firm,
Approximately 22% of holiday travelers anticipate that political disagreements could spark a family feud this year.
Those who have recently transitioned from the kids’ table are feeling the most anxious.
About 38% of Gen Z and 29% of millennial travelers are worried about the conversations at the dinner table, compared to only 11% of Baby Boomers.
Some have even opted to cancel their family celebrations altogether.
If you are worried about potential political conflicts, whether as a host or a guest, there are strategies to help maintain peace—both for the group and for yourself.
- Have an early conversation. Talk to family or friends in advance about the possibility of making the gathering “politics-free,” expressing your desire for everyone to feel relaxed and enjoy each other’s company. This might also involve setting agreements around alcohol consumption.
- Focus on shared interests. Engaging in topics that everyone enjoys, sharing fond memories, or participating in activities together can help maintain a positive atmosphere.
- Practice kindness. Regardless of differing viewpoints, think about how to show up with kindness, whether your opinion aligns with the majority or not.
- Be mindful of boundaries. If discussions begin to veer into uncomfortable territory, gently change the subject.
- Keep your priorities straight. Before you decide to engage in provocative discussions, reflect on whether it’s truly worth the potential fallout. Emotions are valid and can be intense after an election. Be cautious about joking with someone who may be feeling deeply affected—could preserving the relationship be more important than making light of the situation?
- Don’t rise to provocation. If someone continues to bait you into political discourse, take a moment to breathe, then assertively state that you do not wish to discuss politics. Shift your attention to a different conversation with someone else.
- If things get out of hand, plan an exit strategy. Decide in advance with your partner or friend how to handle a situation if it becomes overwhelming. You could agree on a signal for when it’s time to step away, whether that means taking a breather on the porch, going for a short walk, or even leaving the gathering if necessary.
Holidays can be enchanting—a time for warmth, celebration, and cherishing those who matter most to you. Ultimately, what truly counts? If everyone can broaden their perspective to what really matters, we may help ensure that relationships remain intact and avoid any lasting rifts. However, achieving this requires self-awareness, sensitivity, and thoughtfulness. Are we ready to meet this challenge?