What if the thing you relied on for normalcy started to unravel your life? For Stephanie, alcohol seemed like a helpful remedy for her anxiety initially; however, it escalated into a major issue. From blacking out on family vacations to injuring her husband during a drunken episode, alcohol had consumed her existence. Everything changed when a friend introduced her to This Naked Mind. Armed with its resources and encouragement, she learned to handle her anxiety without resorting to alcohol and uncovered a life she never thought was achievable.
Using Alcohol to Manage Anxiety: Stephanie’s Journey
During my childhood, alcohol wasn’t prominent in my life. It was present—on television and at social gatherings—but merely a way for adults to relax or enjoy themselves. My personal experience with alcohol began at 13, alongside trying cigarettes and marijuana. Initially, alcohol didn’t agree with me; it made me extremely sick. I turned to marijuana as my primary substance until I reached 21, but alcohol lingered in my background.
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Finding Alcohol as a Way to Cope
The first time I tried drinking, even though it made me nauseous, I felt a sense of relief. I convinced myself that the negative effects were worth it and thought I just needed to learn how to drink better. At 13, I was grappling with anxiety, though I hadn’t identified it as such at the time. My head was filled with pressures about outperforming, perfection, and maintaining my status as an A-student.
I often lay awake at night, burdened by thoughts of possible failures the next day. My anxiety left me feeling alone and depleted. Alcohol and drugs seemed to dull those worries temporarily. It felt like a remedy that could address my overthinking, shyness, and discomfort in social interactions. Turning to alcohol for anxiety relief became my way of escaping those feelings and trying to be someone people would appreciate.
As I entered my mid-teens, I began to see alcohol as my relief. I believed it helped me become more social, less awkward, and generally more appealing. I spent two decades attempting to control my drinking, establishing rules about how and when I would indulge. Sometimes it worked, but I inevitably found myself in the same miserable situation.
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The Moment Alcohol Became a Concern
Upon reflection, I realize that alcohol was already problematic from the start as I had assigned it a role—to remedy my imperfections. At the moment, it seemed normal. Drinking with friends, engaging in silly antics, and laughing about our mischief was simply the norm. It was how I made friendships and even enjoyed moments with my parents over wine tastings.
This all intensified when I relocated to San Diego for college. I attended a private religious institution that enforced strict no-drinking rules. My anxiety soared in this new setting, leading me to secretly drink as a coping strategy. I was caught several times and landed on the school’s disciplinary list. Instead of stopping, I merely became better at concealing my drinking. Eventually, blackouts and hangovers became routine for me.
Once I became a mother, I started to truly understand how detrimental alcohol was to my life. Not drinking during my pregnancy and the initial stages of motherhood felt liberating. I was determined not to revert to my old ways, but when I had to go back to work, the anxiety of leaving my baby compelled me to return to my only coping mechanism: alcohol.
The Tipping Point
By late 2019, I began to experience humiliating incidents related to drinking. These weren’t necessarily new—I had endured cycles of guilt and regret before—but now with a baby, my behavior felt completely unacceptable.
One vivid episode remains with me. A friend gave me This Naked Mind, and I took it to Hawaii during a family trip, hoping to read instead of drinking. However, I ended up breaking every rule I had established for myself. I created a blackout scene in front of the children, and my husband injured his knee amid the chaos. That night, I seriously contemplated swimming away into the ocean and never returning.
The following day, while I wheeled my husband through the airport, I knew I needed to make a change. I didn’t have a clear solution, but I couldn’t continue living like this.
Attempts to Manage My Drinking
This struggle wasn’t new to me. Throughout the years, I developed numerous regulations to control my alcohol consumption: no drinking during the day, no hard liquor, always eating before drinking, limiting wine to one bottle at home, and drinking only on alternate days. These rules provided temporary relief but eventually crumbled. Using alcohol as a means to cope with anxiety was…
Using alcohol to cope with anxiety is akin to applying a Band-Aid to a serious injury—it may conceal the issue temporarily, but it fails to confront the underlying cause.
Discovering Hope and Support
A recommendation from a friend to read This Naked Mind changed my life significantly. The book provided insights and perspectives I had never thought of before. It emphasized that overcoming challenges isn’t merely about willpower, but about gaining a deeper understanding of my relationship with alcohol. I also found The Alcohol Experiment and Annie Grace’s podcast, which offered hope by sharing inspiring stories of individuals who had liberated themselves from drinking.
Begin Reading
Are you prepared to stop using alcohol as a way to cope with anxiety? Download the first 40 pages of This Naked Mind for free and start your journey to freedom today!
Participating in a group led by a Certified This Naked Mind coach connected me with a community full of support. These programs helped me realize that I wasn’t alone and that change was feasible. They equipped me with the necessary tools to reinvent my life.
Living Alcohol-Free
Today, my life is incredible. It’s difficult to express, but I experience a powerful sense of peace and gratitude each day. The thought of drinking no longer crosses my mind; it has no place in my life now. Instead, I’ve rekindled passions and interests that alcohol had long overshadowed.
My relationships have strengthened, especially the one I have with myself. My bond with my husband has never been better, which is crucial as we navigate life with our four children. I’ve also had the privilege of assisting others on their journeys, helping them discover healthier and more fulfilling lives.
I’m enthusiastic about what lies ahead. I am evolving into my truest self, aligned with my values and goals. Using alcohol to cope with anxiety is no longer part of my reality; I have discovered freedom, connection, and a sense of purpose that alcohol could never provide.
Words for My Younger Self
If I could speak to my 13-year-old self, I would say, “You are perfect as you are.” I’d also remind her that there’s always an opportunity for growth and learning, and that alcohol is not the solution.
To anyone reading this who feels trapped in the cycle of using alcohol to manage anxiety, remember: there is hope. You don’t need to depend on alcohol to feel complete, to be accepted, or to face life’s difficulties. Freedom is achievable, and it’s waiting for you beyond this struggle.
Share Your Story
Have our books, app, podcasts, or any other program at This Naked Mind helped you overcome using alcohol to deal with anxiety? We invite you to share your experience here and motivate others on their journey!